Best of FOG 2013

It’s the time of year for year-end best of lists. In previous years, I’ve done best books I read and best albums I’ve found. This year, I think I’ll do something a little different. We’re going to do a best FOG posts post. Out of 312 posts written year to date, these are the posts that I wrote in 2013 that I’m particularly fond of and why.


Ten Minutes: Three Reasons

This is a piece of flash fiction I wrote in all of ten minutes. It’s not the best fiction I’ve written, but given the time constraints, I think it turned out rather well.

Throw A Box On It

My favorite posts are the ones that mix snark, sarcasm and disgust. This one has all three in abundance. It’s a critique of the design for David Bowie’s The Next Day album cover and I find it pretty entertaining, even now.

G*dd*mn M*th*rf*ck*ng Forg*ven*ss

This is a pretty serious post about how I cannot forgive my abusers. It is angry, but you can sense my frustration and sadness that I cannot forgive.


The Rise And Fall Of The Pit Bull

A public service announcement of a sort on the dangers and unfairness of breed specific legislation.

How To Make A Giraffe 101

I take you step by step through my drawing process. This has turned out to be one of the most popular posts on this site. It was fun to make and I should do more of these.

A Small Male Dog

A piece of fiction written for the Trifecta Challenge. It’s one of my favorites simply because of the picture I chose for it. I can actually hear the ladies in the picture having this conversation.


How The Giraffe Got His Neck

This is one of my favorite posts on this whole site. It’s a children’s story written and illustrated for Bloggers For Peace and I had much fun creating it. It was chosen as a winner of that month’s challenge.

7 Expert Cons Your Brain Pulls On You

Written for Prompt For The Promptless on counterintuition. This was fun to research and put together. The brain is fascinating.

The Third Law Of Unfairness

Applying Newtonian laws of motion to the concept of universal justice and failing.


Anatomy Of A Night’s Sleep

I diagram the joys of sharing a queen size bed with a large cat and dog.

20 Weird Things We Say And Why

The origins of 20 weird sayings in the English language. Put a sock in it.

History’s Best Insulters

Sharing some of the best insults throughout history. There are some doozies in here.


The Differences Between Dog & Cat

The first of two posts (so far) where I draw the differences between my cat and my dog. These are fun to make, but they do take a lot of time.

The Night Of The Amorous Parking Meters

Another of my hilarious drunken stories. This is one of the funniest (and most embarrassing) stories in my arsenal.

Abuse And Promiscuity

The first post where I talk about my skewed sexuality as a result of abuse. I come clean about my past promiscuity which was another huge step in the healing process. This was an important story to tell.


A Culture Of Terror

A serious post calling out the reactionary United States media. I’m so tired of hearing the word “terror” bandied about.

A Case Of The Mumbles

A funny story about how words get tangled up in my mouth.

CHS Syndrome

Better known as Can’t Hear Shit Syndrome. A mostly silly post about what it’s like to be hard of hearing.


A Letter To Parents About Sexual Abuse

If there’s one post on this blog that parents should read, it’s this one. I talk about what you should do if you suspect your child is being sexually abused.

FOG’s 7 Steps to Marketing Success

Very tongue in cheek marketing advice from a professional blogger Fish. “Expediting Vagabonds” still makes me laugh. I love laughing at my own posts. This one also features FOG lunch-meat, so there’s that.

Roofies, Mohawks, Shotguns & Blood: A Love Story

If I hadn’t written this, just the title alone would make me want to read it. This is yet another true story about younger-me antics.


Screw You, Cindy Lou

A pretty funny telling of a not funny traffic ticket. I’ve had to pay $1200 bail this month when I don’t get my day in court until July 1, 2014.

This Song Goes Out To You

I made a mix tape for you, my lovely readers, as part of Bloggers for Peace. This was very fun to make, but took forever.

Accessory To The Crime

A guest post written for Black Box Warnings about the total failure of the United States justice system for victims of abuse.


Creative Listening Skills

I talk about my CLS that I’ve honed over years of being hard of hearing. This post features the phrase “penis whistle,” so there’s that.

Eleven Months

A true story of how I found out I was the other woman. Not much fun, but I think I did the story justice.

Peace Through Insignificance

Once again, I invoke Carl Sagan’s pale blue dot quote to talk about how we’re all essentially the same and should stop killing each other. Also, I managed to use this image, so, WIN:

Frederick Douglas, Sonny Chiba. Images not to scale.
Frederick Douglas, Sonny Chiba.
Images not to scale.


People Of The Dog Park

I talk about the regular cast of characters at the park where I take my dog every day. This post also features the phrase “penis whistle.”

Domestic Violence Can Happen To Anyone

An admonition to anyone who thinks abuse can’t happen to them, because I used to think that way, too.


I openly and honestly talk about drug addiction in my life. This was a hard post to write.



About how I used to be fierce, now I’m not and realizing that’s not such a bad thing.

How To Draw A Crab

My second post showing you how I draw the little creatures that I draw. I’m very happy with the way my crab turned out.

To My Enemy

I write a letter to the asshole who sexually abused me as a child. This was ridiculously hard to write.


Dear Punk,

A letter to the genre of music that helped me open up as a teen. Man, I sure do write a lot of open letters.

10 Things I Hate Part 24

This post is hilarious. I just went through and read it again and I laughed out loud.

Christmas From An Atheist Jew’s Perspective

Alright, so I just wrote this post yesterday, but I think it’s pretty funny. You should read it while it’s still fresh.

“Penis whistle.”