truestoriesOn this page, you will find stories that really happened to me. A lot of them involve embarrassment and alcohol, and some of them are very entertaining. Enjoy.

The Night I Killed The Clutch

A ridiculous warning on the dangers of drinking and driving.

The Story Of The Blue Goo

How a canister of red goo came to be in my possession.

How Domestic Violence Got Me Out Of Jury Duty

My latest bout with jury duty service.

A Simple Matter Of Buying Stamps

A Simple Matter Of Buying Stamps Part 2

A two-part story of Rube Goldbergian proportions.


The first time I got drunk.

Eleven Months

On finding out I was the other woman.

Screw You, Cindy Lou

The story of getting a traffic ticket.

Catastrophic Failure

A story of upselling and a blown tire on the freeway.

A Girl Named Angel

A serious story on how I kicked a crack addiction.

Roofies, Mohawks, Shotguns & Blood: A Love Story

How can you not love that title?

The Night Of The Amorous Parking Meters

Drunken adventures with inanimate objects.

The Night That Changed My Life

The story of exactly how I became a goldfish.

The Missing Shoe

One of the few serious stories on this list about attempted sexual assault.

The Category Of Parades

See how socially awkward I can be!

Mi Salvador

On finding a spider in my room.

The Rules

The first time I shoplifted.

Funny Strange

About children and buying shoes.

The Left Hand Is Evil!

On how being left-handed landed me in special ed classes.

The Montebello Incident

Probably my favorite story ever.

Public Service Announcement

Drunken adventures with Olde English malt liquor.

The World’s Dumbest Cat

I prove how my cat might be the dumbest in the world.

Carjack Defense System

How a giant spoon and a drumstick came to live in my car.


Adventures with mushrooms, the fun kind.

Now With More Friendly

On how people react differently to me with pink hair.

Punching Walls

I describe a very angry coworker.

Operation Pink Hair

I try to escape jury duty by dying my hair.

Blow Things Up Day

On surviving the 4th of July with a hangover.