There are exactly five posts showing in my WordPress reader. I know y’all have written more than that. WTF, WP, WTF?
Because of aforementioned faulty reader and my inability to believe that there are only five posts on all of WordPress for me to read, I’ve had to get to your blogs from my subscriptions page. Some of you haven’t written anything in a very long time, like months and months. Tsk tsk.
Going through my subscription list was an interesting task, albeit annoyingly unnecessary if the WP reader had been working. There are many of you who write nearly every day. Yay! Gold star for you. You are like me in the sense that, if I don’t post anything for a couple of days, you get antsy. Well, to be fair, since you are not me, I don’t know that you get antsy. Maybe you instead feel bored or contemptuous or aroused or any number of other human emotions.
Maybe you don’t feel any human emotions at all because you are a robot. Are you a robot? Would a robot passing as a blogger actually admit to being a robot? Now you’ve got me worried that you don’t actually exist. Well, maybe you exist in a physical form, but you’re not a human being. Great.
Anyway, if you are not a robot blogger and you haven’t written anything in a while, you might even write a post complaining that you can’t think of anything to write and you apologize to your readers for it. I’ve done that, too. I feel weird if I’ve left y’all without anything new to read for a few days. Like maybe you think I’m lying in a ditch somewhere dying slowly with no cell phone reception and no one to help. Well, I’m not dead in a ditch, are you?
You see, for as many of you prolific bloggers that I subscribe to (high five), it turns out, I have subscribed to a lot of fallow blogs, some of which I don’t even remember subscribing to at all because they haven’t posted anything in so long.
So, if you’re out there and you have a blog that has a fish in your subscribers list, write something, please. Maybe, perhaps, one day, I might be able to see it in my WordPress reader (although, the odds are not good).
A while ago, I started a new award to give to blogs that haven’t posted anything in a while. I hereby give the Is This Thing On? Award to:
Ruminations on Love & Lunchmeat
I really miss some of you. Come back soon.
And, WordPress, seriously, for real and with all haste and expediency, please, fix your damn reader. I’m missing out on a lot of good stuff.