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Author: goldfish

On Being Unemployed

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Last Friday at 4:55 PM, I got a phone call from my boss telling me that the company […]

goldfish July 23, 2010 misc. business, on being...

My BFF9000

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Some people claim that artificial intelligence will be the downfall of the human race.  I admit that before […]

goldfish July 23, 2010 fiction

The Left Hand Is Evil!

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When I was a wee lass, just entering formal education, after graduating from eating paste, my teacher thought […]

goldfish July 22, 2010 stories

Bukowski

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A friend of mine told me that I write like Charles Bukowski “if Bukowski was ironically funny.”  I […]

goldfish July 21, 2010 misc. business

If I was guaranteed an honest answer, what would I ask?

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What are the winning numbers for tomorrow’s super mega million gajillion dollar lottery drawing? Yeah, ok, that’s sort […]

goldfish July 21, 2010 misc. business

On Being Handicapped

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Last week, I was walking around on two feet, per usual, and all of a sudden, the ground […]

goldfish July 20, 2010 experiences, on being...

Would I Survive No Internet for a Whole Month?

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Since I don’t actually need the internet to live, obviously, the answer is yes. I’m not hooked up […]

goldfish July 20, 2010 misc. business

Homonyms Are The Devil

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People are stupid. Not all, but most of them are stupid. People are stupid enough when you have […]

goldfish July 19, 2010 rants

Overheard at My Own Funeral

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You’re a fly on the wall at your own funeral. What are people saying about you? Great… I’m […]

goldfish July 15, 2010 misc. business

If I Were In Charge…

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If I were in charge of the world today, these would be the first of my many decrees. […]

goldfish July 14, 2010 misc. business

The Best Advice I Ever Received

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When I was in my early twenties, the lure of the great, big, bad world, which I hadn’t […]

goldfish July 13, 2010 misc. business

Metaphorical Royalty

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Sometimes, I refer to myself as the queen of metaphors, not because I’m royalty, but because my brain […]

goldfish July 10, 2010 experiences, movies, traumatic brain injury

The Best Day Of Your Life

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A friend of mine once asked, actually, he insisted, that I tell him what the best day of […]

goldfish July 9, 2010 experiences

The Montebello Incident

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I’ve done some pretty stupid things in my life; some things I regret and some things that were […]

goldfish July 3, 2010 stories

Public Service Announcement

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I live in Los Angeles. Living in Los Angeles means that, inevitably, I know people who work in […]

goldfish June 25, 2010 funny business, stories

I Hate Birthdays

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Every year on or around my birthday, I force myself to write something about where I am in […]

goldfish June 23, 2010 rants, serious business

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