Holiday Wish List

With Christmas fast approaching, I thought I’d take the guesswork out of shopping for me and give you some ideas. I’ll happily accept any of these items, or if you’re too lazy to buy them for me, I’d be quite content with the cash money instead. Thanks!

Gingerbread Playhouse – $15k


We’re starting off the list with something seasonal. Since I will never be able to afford a real house in Los Angeles, how about a life-size gingerbread playhouse instead? I would play the hell out of this thing and then eat it. Or maybe I’d put it on a trailer and make it a permanent tiny living space. The description doesn’t say whether it comes with indoor plumbing though.

Terrafugia TF-X Flying Car – Still in prototype

Finally, there’s a real Jetson’s car! I’ve been waiting my whole life for this one. Not only does this bad boy fly, but it drives itself. All you have to do is input a destination and it does the rest.

Unfortunately, it will be in development for at least 8-12 years, but feel free to reserve a Transition, the TF-X precursor, for me now.

Aquavista Dinosaur Gold Aquarium – $4.8M


While I prefer silver or platinum to gold, I’m willing to live with the 24-carat gold frame of this aquarium since it combines two of my favorite things: fish and dinosaurs! Not only is there plenty of room for goldfish, but it has real T-Rex and Woolly Mammoth bones inside!

Monster 25″ Phareodus – $4,950

Man not included. (
Man not included.

Speaking of fish and fossils, how about a fossilized fish? This one is only about 45-50 million years old. Although, perhaps it would be creepy of me to have a fossilized fish. Maybe you should just give me the cash instead.

Customized In-Ear Headphones – a mere $1,350


Why am I wearing a pair of off the rack, cheap-ass Sony in-ear headphones right now, when I could be wearing some that are lovingly handcrafted and molded to fit my unique ears? How silly of me.

Magnetic Floating Bed – $1.54M


Inspired by Kubrick’s monolith in 2001, this is a real floating bed suspended off the ground with magnetic forces, magic or both. I’m not quite sure how it works, but I’d attach a little outboard motor to the back so I wouldn’t have to get out of bed to get a glass of water.

Tetris House – Custom


From the same guys who bring us the floating bed comes the Tetris House! If you get tired of your bedroom on the east wing, you can easily move it to the west. My floating bed would look very nice in this.

The Seabreacher X – Price not listed. If you have to ask, you can’t afford it.

Screen shot 2015-11-24 at 1.56.16 PM

This bad boy not only looks like a shark, but it has a thrust system (how could you not love that term?) that mimics aquatic animals like sharks and dolphins allowing it to do aquatic tricks like jump 90 degrees into the air.

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It’s better than riding inside a real shark, because it has a 260hp supercharged engine and no fish guts.

REAL FREAKIN BATTLE MECHA!! – starting at $978K


Of course, this comes from Japan because where else would you expect a real robot warrior (pre-robot uprising) to come from?

The Kuratas robot is 12.5 ft. tall, has a top speed of 6.2 mph (10 kph), weighs 5 tons, and its 30 hydraulic actuators can be controlled from an iPhone.

WANT! I’d like mine in red, please.