Didn’t I just do one of these? Oh. It was a month ago. Fine then. Here I go again on my own. Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known. Like a drifter I was born to walk alone.

Y’all deserve some Whitesnake for making me do one of these posts again.

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Oops. I forgot an award last time. The Imaginator gave me the ABC award. Thanks and I’m sorry for leaving you out, The Imaginator!

The rules of this award are: –

1. Add the ABC logo to your new blog post.
2. ABC about yourself using one word or phrase.
3. Nominate however many blogs you wish.
4. Let the recipient know via a link in their comments.

I’m not going to think about this too much because this is the type of thing I could obsess over. Instead, I’m going to write down the first word I think of for the letter in my ABCs:

Apathetic
Blonde
Calamitous
Detroit (my hometown)
Elephants (are cool)
Flighty
Goldfish!
Hilarious
Internationally known (to rock a microphone)
Jiggly
KILL!
Leery
MURDER!
Not really going to kill or murder, nor would I recommend it to you.
Oh!
Pffft.
Quick!
Ruh roh!
Suckery
The most awesome fish in the land.
Uptight, everything is alright.
Void
Wizened wizards
X-ray fish are sort of invisible.
Y hello thar.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

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Kirsten H. Whyte and Not Quite Alice nominated me for the Sunshine Award! Wow. Thanks, guys!

So there some rules:

1. Make sure to post this award on your blog site.
2. Nominate 10 fellow bloggers. (It doesn’t have to be 10, just nominate some people who make the sun shine for you)
3. Please answer 10 questions. (Or you could just tell us some things about you that we don’t already know)

Kirsten’s Questions:

“The sun has got his hat on, hip-hip-hip-horray. The sun has got his hat on and he’s coming out today.” Did the sun come out for you today (either physically or metaphorically)?

Actually, strangely, no, it hasn’t. It’s been hazy and overcast all day in sunny southern California.

Do you wish that you could walk on the clouds?

Maybe. I’d prefer to sleep on the clouds. That sounds very relaxing.

When the Sun burns out, do you think that a) Humans will have evolved so that they don’t need the Sun, b) Humans will have invented a Sun substitute, or c) the world as we know it will shrivel and die?

Most likely C. The way we’re going though, civilization won’t even last that long.

Have you seen the 2007 British science fiction adventure thriller film, Sunshine, directed by Danny Boyle?

I have not. Should I?

‘Good Morning Sunshine!’ or ‘Grr, leave me alone until I’ve had coffee’?

I’m definitely 100% leave me the hell alone until I’ve had coffee.

It’s an unexpectedly sunny day and you have the whole day to yourself, what do you do?

I’d take my dog to the dog beach.

The sun is always depicted in Children’s books with a smiley face. Do you think the sun is always happy and is he/she friends with the Man in the Moon?

I’d say the sun is an inanimate, amorphous radiating ball of plasma, but to play along: sure, the sun is happy. Why wouldn’t it be?

The sun always shines on TV, true or false?

Very true. (I have no idea what my answer means.)

Sun bathing – good or bad?

Bad. Very bad. My pasty white Nordic skin fries to a crisp. I don’t tan; I burn.

Would you like to live somewhere where the sun always shines, 24 hours a day?

Nah. I wouldn’t be able to sleep and I have a hard enough time sleeping now.

Not Quite Alice’s Questions:

I sprained my wrist running into and bouncing off of a very fat kid in gym class when I was in 6th grade. (Go ahead and laugh, the gym teacher did. )

That’s not a question. Alright, fine. lol. 🙂

It’s snowing right now, and I feel like a little kid again wishing for a snow day!

That’s not a question either. I miss snow days.

I was listening to Bowling for Soup the other day, so now I feel like I’m the girl all the bad guys want.

What’s Bowling For Soup?

I’m a Vanquisher! (At least in GuildWars I am. I can kill all the pixels! )

ARRRRRGH!

I’m an Irish Punk lover.

Me too, but we already talked about that.

I want to move to Boston to party with Dropkick Murphys.

I wouldn’t advise it. It’s cold there. And full of Bostonians.

I throw tea parties every day for myself. They’re all mad of course.

Of course they are. A mad tea party that isn’t mad is just silly.

Sometimes I wish my life was like my stories I make up.

Well, usually stories have a lot of drama. Sometimes, drama is overrated.

I’m slow to respond to Awards.

Me too. Your post was nearly a month ago.

I’ve been slacking on writing.

Stop that.

I’m broken and special.

Yes. Me too. High five!

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MerBear nominated me for… actually, it’s not even an award. MerBear tagged me, but there are still rules, dammit.

The rules.

1. Post a picture of the award on your blog
2. Tag back the person who tagged you to let them know you’ve accepted the award.
3. 11 facts about you.
4. Answer the 11 questions I’ve asked you.
5. Tag the same amount of people as their are letters in your name.
6. Ask your OWN 11 questions to the people you’ve tagged.
7. Contact the people you’ve tagged to let them know they’ve been tagged.

Good grief. That’s a lot of work without even an award. Alright fine. 11 facts:

1. I accidentally wore a black hoodie today that had fallen on the floor and it’s covered with dog and cat hair.
2. And I don’t care. I tried to brush it off, but not very hard.
3. I lost the lining for one of the shoes I’m wearing at the San Francisco airport a few months ago when they made me take them off at security and now my sock sticks to the bottom of my shoe.
4. I’m listening to all of my music on random shuffle today.
5. Right now, Frank Sinatra is singing My Kind Of Town.
6. Chicago is.
7. This is my kind of town, Chicago is.
8. My kind of people, too.
9. People who smile at you.
10. That’s totally cheating using song lyrics.
11. I’m a big cheating cheater.

And 11 questions, too:

Have you ever smoked marijuana?

Well, yeah.

If you could fix one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I’d give myself perfect vision. My vision sucks and it’s only getting worse.

What is one food you just can’t eat, and why?

There are actually three foods I can’t eat because my stomach goes on strike: dairy, cashews, cabbage.

Can you openly cry in front of others?

It depends on why I’m crying and who the “others” are, but generally speaking, no.

If your dog took a poo in the park, and no one was looking, would you leave it there? (Even if you don’t own a dog. Just play along.)

Nope. I always clean up her poop. It’s just considerate. The park is for everyone.

What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?

Well, after getting out of bed, I go pee.

What did the hand say to the face?

SLAP!

Do you ever curse under your breathe?

All the time. Sometimes, it’s not even under my breath.

Do you like waffles or pancakes?

It depends on my mood, but most of the time pancakes because you can put blueberries in them.

What is your favorite pie?

Dutch apple. It’s like regular apple pie, but with those delicious crumblies on top.

What is your favorite band of all time? (Bonus points if its the Beatles.)

Um. That’s impossible to answer. Really, it is. If I could only choose one album for a desert island though, it would probably be Beethoven’s symphonies.

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braith an’ lithe nominated me for the Liebster Award or The Versatile Blogger Award. Aww, thanks!

Liebster rules:

1. Each person must post 11 things about themselves.
2. Answer the questions that the tagger set for you plus create 11 questions for the people you’ve tagged to answer.
3. Choose 11 people and link them in your post.
4. Go to their page and tell them.
5. No tag backs!

Versatile rules:

• Thank the person who gave you this award.
•  Include a link to their blog.
•  Next, select 15 blogs/bloggers that you’ve recently discovered or follow regularly.
•  Finally, tell the person who nominated you 7 things about yourself.

Eleven more things plus seven more things?

1. I just misspelled “eleven” as “elven.”
2. I almost left it.
3. But I am not an elf.
4. Although, their cookies aren’t bad.
5. Now, I’m listening to Judas Priest.
6. Victim of Changes.
7. Judas Priest rocks.
8. My shoelace was untied, so I just retied it and now it’s too tight. I hate that.
9. You don’t care about my shoelace problems.
10. My shoelace problems are very insignificant in the bigger picture.
11. 
12. I wish I had more coffee.
13. Or a chocolate chip cookie. One of those soft batch ones the elves make.
14. Now I’m listening to Ray Charles.
15. I gambled on your love and got a Losing Hand.
16. That’s a lyric from the song.
17. Fact: I can’t think of anything to say.
18. I need a haircut.

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The lovely Not Quite Alice nominated me for the Wonderful Team Member Award! Thank you, dear. Awesomesauce. I’m sure it has rules, too.

The Rules:

1. Display the logo on your page.
2. Finish the sentence: “A great reader is
3. Nominate 14 readers they appreciate.
4. Inform the readers with either comments or pingbacks.

Ooh, this one’s pretty simple. A great reader is someone who is engaged in reading my posts, and has thoughtful, funny or supportive comments to make, like you guys. Love ya. xoxo.

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Polysyllabic Profundities gave me the WordPress Family Award! Thanks!

Rules:

1. Display the award logo on your blog.
2. Link back to the person who nominated you.
3. Nominate 10 others you see as having an impact on your WordPress experience and family
4. Let your 10 Family members know you have awarded them
5. That is it. Just please pick 10 people who have taken you as a friend, and spread the love

Nice! I don’t have to do anything!

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ardenrr gave me The Liebster Award. Thank you, dear!

I’ve already forgotten the rules…

Liebster rules:

1. Each person must post 11 things about themselves.
2. Answer the questions that the tagger set for you plus create 11 questions for the people you’ve tagged to answer.
3. Choose 11 people and link them in your post.
4. Go to their page and tell them.
5. No tag backs!

Eesh. More eleven things:

1. Seriously, do any of you care about 11 things?
2. Eleven. That’s an awfully long word for a number that looks like this: 11. Three syllables even.
3. Vivaldi – Flute Concerto in G minor, Op. 10, No. 2, RV 439, “La notte”
4. I’m really not fond of the flute.
5. Or the piano. I don’t really like the piano.
6. I’m not sure why.
7. I would like to take this opportunity to yell at MerBear for making me want a piece of Dutch apple pie.
8. Because I really want a piece of Dutch apple pie.
9. I have accomplished a lot of work this week even though I’ve been messing about a lot on WP.
10. I wish it was Friday.
11. It’s not.

Ardenrr’s questions:

If you could fork-stab one person with no repercussions, would you do it? Who would it be?

Only one person? I probably wouldn’t do it because I couldn’t narrow the list down to one.

How long have you been blogging?

Since 2009. That was how many years ago… 13? Is it thirteen years? I’m bad at the maths.

If you could get back one thing you’ve lost, what would it be?

I would like my favorite stuffed animal back. She was a dog/bear with a heart nametag that said Clara. I think my mom sold Clara at a garage sale.

Do you watch porn?

Nope. I work in porn (I’m not IN porn; I do graphic design for it). I don’t watch it.

What is your favorite hobby (besides blogging)?

Shooting things with guns. Mostly paper targets.

Do you have any pets?  If so, please post a picture, especially if it’s a sloth.
They’re not sloths, but they are slothful:

Do you always wash your hands after using the restroom?

Well, that’s a tricky question. I’m allergic to soap. So I don’t wash my hands, but I carry hand sanitizer and use that.

If you could move anywhere you have already visited, where would that be?

Hm. London probably. It seems nice.

What is your favorite TV show that is currently airing and why should I watch it?

I don’t really have television per se. I mean, I have a TV on which I watch things, but generally, I watch shows long after the fact.My favorite show that I think is still on the air is Game Of Thrones because it’s badass. I’ve only seen seasons 1 & 2, so no spoilers, please.

Do you hate your job? If so, what would you rather be doing?

I don’t hate my job exactly. It’s pretty stress free and totally relaxed. I just wish I got paid more.

Are you starting to hate this as much as I am?

Oh, I very much am, my dear.

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Phew. That’s it for the work I have to do. Now for the nominations and my questions should you choose to answer them. As usual, you are free to take any, all or none of the awards.

Nominations:

I can’t think of any criteria for nominating anyone this time, so I’m just going to nominate the last 15 people to leave comments on FOG. Thanks. Comments always make my day:

jrosenberry1 (who just skated in under the wire as I was writing this post.)

behindthemaskofabuse

ardenrr

scorpionglow

Vince

MerBear

jaschmehl

sortaginger

donofalltrades

Doggy’s Style

alexp01

twindaddy

words4jp

completelydisappear

Hyperlocal Hero

Draliman

braith an’ lithe

Not Quite Alice

Is that 15? Whatever. I told you I’m bad at the maths.

11 questions should you choose to answer them:

1. If you haven’t already sent your email address to Not Quite Alice to participate in her story (see the the link), why not?
2. What’s your favorite swear word? If you don’t swear, why are you reading FOG?
3. Would you rather have a unicorn or a fire-breathing dragon?
4. What did we do before the internet? Really, I don’t remember.
5. Link one of your favorite blog posts and tell us why it’s your favorite.
6. Do you publish blog posts right after you write them or do you let them stew for a while?
7. Do you have a nickname? What’s it mean?
8. If you could have a theme song play whenever you walked into a room, what would it be?
9. Where do you live and what time is it there?
10. Whats your favorite animal?
11. If you were Tawny Kitaen back in the day, would you date this dude?

    

I’ve made up my mind, I ain’t wasting no more time. ‘Cos I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams.

And there you have it. Another awards post done. Check.