The ZA Plan


My Survive the Zombie Apocalypse Plan is mostly in working order. We have weapons, ammunition, enough water and food for at least a few weeks, and basic medical supplies. We actually have a ZA Plan already. As I wrote about in the post Vote For Me In The Zombie Apocalypse, I think I’d be pretty handy to have around.

To give a little background so that I don’t sound entirely like a crazy person, my roommate has owned the house in which we currently live for going on three years now. I’ve been living here since he bought it. As a first-time homeowner, he started buying things that renters never think about buying, like lawnmowers and wheelbarrows.

I live in southern California, which is prone to natural disasters like earthquakes and riots. The 1994 Northridge earthquake was a big one. I wasn’t living in California at the time, so I’ve never really experienced a big earthquake. The city was in shambles for a couple of weeks. Transportation was at a standstill, power was lost, and there was looting and pillaging going on everywhere.

My roommate, being of the rare breed of native Angeleno, lived through it. From my experience, it seems that if you lived through Northridge, you live with a niggling, ever-present perturbation that it will happen again. So, when this self-same roommate of mine became a homeowner, he decided to prepare for such an eventuality. As it turns out, preparing for an earthquake isn’t much different than planning for the zombie apocalypse.

It started small with some bottled water, food, first aid and a shotgun. Every homeowner should have a shotgun, he reasoned, and rightly so. If there is a big earthquake, the last thing you want is marauders thinking it’s alright to enter your abode and make off with your goods. A nice, pump-action, 12-gauge shotgun does much to deter would-be intruders. Just that familiar sound of loading it would be enough to make most people wet their pants if they knew it was made just for their benefit.

From there, it ballooned into a contagious interest in all firearms, to the point that I now own one, too. I am a registered firearms owner in the state of California. We go to the range all the time and shoot things. It turns out, I absolutely adore guns. They are strangely relaxing to me. If I’m having an off day, shooting a firearm does much to focus my mind. I have a hard time clearing my head of all the useless detritus that collects there. When you’re holding a gun in you hand, you have no choice but to concentrate only on that. All of your little problems melt away as you are forced to think only about your firearm and the target in front of you. You have to breathe. You have to focus.

Now, he has a cache of weapons and he’s working towards a stockpile, and maybe eventually, an armory. We have three gun safes in our house. One is filled with weapons, the other two are crammed full of ammunition. If you come to my house with naughty behavior on your mind, I’d recommend thinking twice and turning right back around. Firearms also happen to be very handy for shooting zombies, should the need arise.

So, should the zombie apocalypse (or big earthquake) come, we’re ready. We have enough supplies and ammunition to last about a month without ever leaving our house. From there, we’ll just play it by ear and see what comes. There are also potential plans in effect for building a trebuchet.

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