Weekend Coffee Share: The Trouble With Puppies & Graphic Design

Hello, my peoples! Come on in and set a spell. It’s been a while since I did one of these coffee chat posts.

What’s been going on? Well, I’ve been extremely busy doing not much.

Yesterday, I built a website for free, a practice greatly frowned upon by graphic designers everywhere.

The dog park I go to won a makeover. Yay! The problem is that the prize money has to be spent through the city within 6 months. Booo. This means not only do we need to embark on the Herculean task of getting the neighborhood city council to get shit done within 6 months, we actually have to decide what’s to be done. Getting hundreds of people a) together and b) to agree on what should be done is like herding cats.

We’ve already blown a month just getting it on the city council agenda where, true to form, nothing at all was decided. I was talking to a dog park regular who was one of only three people to attend the meeting (because no one else knew about the damn meeting), and he was annoyed that nothing was getting done.

By way of excuse, I told him I’m not good with people, so that’s definitely not something I could help with. He said, aren’t you a graphic designer? What we need is one place for people to go and give their input. Couldn’t you just do a simple website or something?

This is the type of thing graphic designers hate. It’s like saying to a surgeon: Hey, you’re a surgeon, right? I have this tumor that needs removing. Couldn’t you just, you know, remove it in your off hours for free real quick? No, that’s not how surgery works, nor should it be how graphic design works. Surgeons never get that, but graphic designers get it all the time. Apparently, my skills and talents and livelihood are free.

So, because I’m a total sucker, I said okay. Instead of writing this post yesterday, I build a website for free in my off hours. Joy.

You may have noticed that my hands are all covered in scratches. That’s because my sister got a puppy… an extremely young puppy.Β  She was only 8 weeks old when my sister got her, which coincidentally, is the same age my dog was when I got her.

I wouldn’t get another puppy that young. Puppies are an extreme pain in the ass, particularly one as young as that. They don’t listen, they have the attention span of gnats, they’re not housebroken, and they bite absolutely everything within reach of their mouths, which as it happens, is absolutely everything. The real problem is that because they’re so young, they don’t have all their shots, which means you can’t take them anywhere. Imagine a biting, peeing endurance machine that you can’t take anywhere for months.

My dog is nearly 6 years old, and still, the sting of her puppyhood is too fresh. It’s amazing that she survived to adulthood. I used to say that I was going to drown her in the river in a burlap sack, but she’s lucky that I don’t have a burlap sack. I was only half-joking. Puppies suck.

I told my sister all this before she got a puppy. I warned her against getting such a young dog, but she wouldn’t listen. So, now, there’s this:

img_2495The reason that puppies are so cute is so that we don’t drown them in the river in a burlap sack as they fully and richly deserve. They suck.

My dog has been far more patient than I would have expected and far more patient than I have been with this bundle of asshattery. Here they are being adorable:


One good outcome of all this biting and peeing is that I now realize I have the best dog in the world. She doesn’t bite me. She listens when I give her a command and actually does it, and she hasn’t peed in the house in forever. Puppies suck.

Let’s see, what else? I’ve been applying for jobs here and there. I haven’t heard anything from anyone, but I’m trying not to get discouraged. It only takes one, right?

What’s been going on with you?

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