Losing your love, your life partner, your best friend, and the person who was most capable of cheering you up and forcing you to get your shit together is a lot like walking around forever with only one shoe.
Sometimes, I’m wearing flip-flops on grass and I don’t notice that I only have one shoe all that much. Sometimes, it’s high heels on cobblestones and each step is awkward and painful. First thing every morning, I remember I only have one shoe. I get out of bed, get dressed and put it on anyway.
I keep searching for my other shoe, but I can’t find it anywhere. It just doesn’t exist anymore. Every so often, I forget what it is that I’m searching for, but I never forget that I’m missing something important.
No matter what, there’s always only one shoe. Only half of me is able to walk through this world at any given time. The other half drags behind, hesitantly undecided, searching for the best foothold.
Sometimes, I’m afraid I’ll lose the shoe I have. Other times, I think, well, maybe I should just get rid of it and walk around barefoot. Walking with one shoe isn’t easy, but it’s better than no shoes at all.
This terrible extended metaphor about shoes brought to you in high-definition stream of consciousness.