Dear Coffee Maker

Feeling uninspired, I’m stealing a Rarasaur prompt:

Write a thank you note to someone or something you might normally take for granted.

Dear Coffee Maker,

I know we don’t talk much. Sometimes, I even yell at you when you spill your contents all over the counter or when you allow those annoying grounds into my liquid delight.

To be fair though, you only allow grounds into coffee when I don’t put the filter in the right way, and you only spill coffee on the counter because I don’t clean you in a timely manner, so really, it’s my fault. It’s not you; it’s me.

The problem is, whenever I use you, I haven’t had any coffee yet. I need you to make coffee so that I can think clearly, since clearly, I can’t think without coffee. Sometimes, I even forget to add water or turn you on. It’s a viciously circular conundrum. Can you, in all your mechanical superiority, forgive my erring human ways?

This note is to thank you for existing. Without you, I’d have to deal with one of these things:

What is this? I don’t even…

Even well-infused with the caffeine you graciously made for me this morning, I don’t have the foggiest idea how to use one of those. I manage to fuck up making coffee even with your efficiently streamlined self, I can only imagine how badly it would go with that thing in the morning without coffee.

Things are so much easier with you. I grind coffee, add water, put the coffee in a filter, push your little ON button and walk away to get ready for my day. Within seconds, your enticing percolating sounds begin. By the time I’ve walked the dog and gotten dressed, you have freshly-brewed delicious coffee for me to drink. And when I inevitably forget to turn you off after I’ve gotten my coffee, you turn yourself off for me! Radical!

And your sleek black lines are very sexy.

I’m sure I could adjust to a world without you, coffee maker, but I wouldn’t want to. Thank you so much for consistently brewing delicious coffee for me in the mornings with little fuss nor muss. Don’t ever die on me and I promise to clean you more often. Deal?

It's the coolest because I drew it.