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Category Archive: open letters

I write a lot of them.

To People With Non-Reactive Dogs

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Hello, dog owners! I can tell already that you’re a partly decent person, because you’ve decided to care […]

goldfish April 15, 2022 open letters

Another Open Letter To WordPress

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Dear WordPress.com, Well, you’ve gone and done it again. You’ve removed features from the editor without listening to […]

goldfish November 17, 2015 open letters, rants

An Open Letter To WordPress Part 2

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Dear WordPress.com, It’s been just over three months since I wrote my first missive to you about all […]

goldfish May 3, 2015 open letters, rants

An Open Letter To WordPress

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Dear WordPress.com, I am loath to write yet another letter to you, since I typically prefer to spend […]

goldfish January 23, 2015 open letters, rants

Dear Coffee Maker

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Feeling uninspired, I’m stealing a Rarasaur prompt: Write a thank you note to someone or something you might […]

goldfish November 28, 2014 open letters

A Letter To American Voters (And Nonvoters)

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Dear American public, Let me start by thanking the few of you who did your civic duty and […]

goldfish November 6, 2014 open letters

Dear Consumer of Antique Computing Machines

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It’s been approximately five hundred and thirty two years since I’ve done a daily prompt, but since it’s […]

goldfish November 4, 2014 open letters

More Open Letters To The World

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Dear gaggle of 20-something neighbors, You have a very nice house. I’m kind of jealous of your house […]

goldfish April 19, 2014 open letters

Open Letters To The World

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Dear BMW drivers, I drive a BMW, too. Stop acting like entitled asshats. Have you heard a rapper […]

goldfish February 21, 2014 open letters, rants

Dear Punk,

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This is a letter to the genre of music, not necessarily anyone called Punk. If your name is […]

goldfish December 12, 2013 music, open letters

Dear David Bowie,

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Hello, Mr. Bowie. Or should I call you David? You seem like a David to me, not a […]

goldfish December 5, 2013 music, open letters

To My Enemy

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This month’s Bloggers For Peace Challenge is a hard one: I want you to open your arms to […]

goldfish November 6, 2013 B4peace, child sexual abuse, NaBloPoMo, open letters

To The Guy Parked In Front Of My House

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Forgive me for assuming you are a guy, however, I feel fairly confident in my gender assessment of […]

goldfish November 3, 2013 NaBloPoMo, open letters

Dear Universe

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You are very big and very old. I mean that in the nicest possible way. I don’t mean […]

goldfish July 7, 2013 B4peace, open letters

Dear Desk Chair

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Hello, chair. Yeah, it’s you and me butting heads again. Or is it butting butts? Anyway, you didn’t […]

goldfish May 9, 2013 funny business, misc. business, open letters

Dear Little Bird

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Dear little dead bird I found in my backyard this morning, I’m sorry that you’re dead. I’m sorry […]

goldfish April 24, 2013 funny business, open letters

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