Sorry, mes amis, but work has left me especially busy of late. I haven’t had time to write or even read posts, so I’m phoning it in. I’m not literally phoning it in. I still had to do the legwork; my phone isn’t that cool… yet.
Anyway, in case you forgot or missed Part 1, we’re going to answer questions asked by songs in my music library with other songs.
First, I searched my music library and came up with a list of questions. Then, for each question, I hit the shuffle button and the first track is the answer.
Q: The first question comes from Anthrax. They would like to know What Doesn’t Die?
Every living thing dies eventually. Let’s see what the library has to say.
A: And the answer comes from G.G. Allin. Mr. Allin says Terror in America doesn’t die.
As cynical as that answer is G.G., I’m inclined to agree with you.
Q: Our next question comes from the honorable Mr. Barry White. He would like to know What Am I Gonna Do With You?
Awesome, Barry. I’m a little afraid to know the answer.
A: Our answer comes from Stevie Wonder. Well, ain’t that somethin’. Stevie says I Was Made To Love Her.
Love that song, Stevie. Hopefully, you and Barry aren’t talking about the same lady friend.
Q: Our next question comes from one of my favorites, the Buzzcocks: What Do I Get?
A: Our answer comes from The Exploited. I’m sorry to tell you, Buzzcocks, but it looks like you’ve been drafted into Army Life.
I bet that’s not the answer you had in mind. It really seems like you’re too old to be drafted, Buzzcocks. Good luck with that.
Q: Jimmy Ruffin would like to know What Becomes Of The Brokenhearted?
Probably nothing good, but let’s see what the library has to say.
A: Good news, Jimmy. Apparently, The Rolling Stones say Time Is On My Side, which seems to me like you should give it some time and your heart will mend.
Excellent advice, Rolling Stones. Good luck, Jimmy.
Q: Funkadelic has a question. They ask Mommy, What’s A Funkadelic?
Let’s see who answers.
A: Well, Funkadelic, apparently, Slayer is your mommy and they say Funkadelic is Criminally Insane, which coming from Slayer, isn’t all that surprising.
Q: Our next question is from The Four Tops. They want to know What Is A Man?
You think they’d know that by now seeing as there are at least four of them in the Four Tops, but whatever.
A: Tom Waits says a man is Spare Parts I (A Nocturnal Emission).
Touché, Mr. Waits. A timely, revealing answer.
Q: Suicidal Tendencies would like to know Where’s The Truth?
A: Hoo boy. Eminem says Ass Like That.
Q: Let’s do one more. This one comes from Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings. Sharon et al want to know What If We All Stopped Paying Taxes?
A: Our answer comes from The Clash. They say Career Opportunities.
OK, Clash. Rock on.