goldfish misc. business

Tag. You’re It.

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There’s been much too much seriousness on this blog lately. I’ve talked about depression, memory loss and domestic violence. We need to lighten up the mood a little bit. Let’s have a party. Someone bring cake. I would really like some cake, please.

When I saw that Twindaddy at Stuph Blog had tagged me in a post again, I thought this would be the perfect opportunity for shenanigans; there are usually shenanigans when Twindaddy is involved.

He blog tagged me, which I guess is like regular tag but without the running around and with more typing. I, for one, am very much in favor of not running around. Here are the rules:

1. Post these rules.
2. Post a photo of yourself and eleven random facts about you.
3. Answer the questions given to you in the tagger’s post.
4. Create eleven new questions and tag new people to answer them.
5. Go to their blog/twitter and let them know they have been tagged.

1. Post these rules.

Check.

2a. Post a photo of yourself.

Um, no, but here’s an old one. The only picture of me on this blog:

Although, I do have a mouth and a chin.

2b. Post eleven random facts about you.

Gah. Again with the random facts.

  1. I miss having pink hair. My hair is just boring old blonde now.
  2. I do not have pink hair because I ran out of hair dye and haven’t bought more. Plus, I’m very lazy.
  3. I can fold my tongue like this:
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  4. I do not have a mustache.
  5. I used to love playing hockey as a kid, but that was before the days when girls could play on hockey teams, so I never got to play.
  6. I still don’t know how to play the violin.
  7. My favorite food is probably sushi. I could eat sushi forever.
  8. I had a shaved head for a couple of years. It was the best haircut I ever had.
  9. I had a mohawk for a couple of years, too. It was a pain in the ass.
  10. People assumed when I had a shaved head that I was either a lesbian or was going through chemotherapy.
  11. People are stupid and judgmental. I don’t like most of them.

3. Answer the questions given to you in the tagger’s post.

Dogs shouldn’t snore. Why the hell is my dog snoring?

Your dog is snoring because your dog is asleep. If you figure out a solution to the awful problem of the dog snore, please, let me know. Also, dog farting. That’s even worse.

Describe the most embarrassing moment you ever endured.

Eesh. There are a lot of them. Probably the most embarrassing involve public speaking. I wrote about it here.

My butt’s numb from sitting here for so long.  Wait, that’s not a question.  You have a wedgie.  Do you take care of immediately or wait until no one will notice you taking care of it?

I am the type of classy lady that will pick that sucker right outta there as long as no one is watching. If someone is watching, I’ll go to the ladies room where that type of behavior is not frowned upon.

A coworker has some nasty body odor.  How do you address the situation?

Fortunately, I’ve never been in that situation, so I’m not sure, but I think I would probably address the situation directly with as much tact as possible.

You just farted.  You are relieved that it wasn’t loud but it quickly becomes apparent that it was SBD.  Do you blame the dog?

It depends on the environment. If I’m at home, hell no. I own it. If I’m at a fancy black tie reception and my dog is somehow there, yes indeedy.

You don’t have a dog.  Who do you blame now?

He who smelt it dealt it, right? So, as long as you’re not the first to notice, you’re in the clear.

Who’s the most hilarious blogger you follow besides me?

Me. Oh, I mean, um, me.

Some dude’s fly is down.  Do you do the considerate thing and tell him or are you too embarrassed to say anything because you’d have to admit you were looking at his junk?

I tell. I would rather one person tell me my fly was down than a thousand people notice it was and not say anything.

What is the funniest movie EVAR??

Tough one. Anything by Monty Python or Blazing Saddles.

I got so drunk this one time that I actually….

…folded my wet clothes and put them away in the trash. You can read all about my ladylike adventures here.

If you could be any species in that galaxy far away, which would it be (yes, I’m referring to Star Wars)?

I’d want to be a Hutt. They seem to have it pretty good.

4a. Create eleven new questions.

  1. Would you rather be a dog or a cat?
  2. What’s your favorite song? Either of the moment or all time.
  3. If you were sentenced to death, what would be your last meal?
  4. What’s your favorite holiday?
  5. If you could travel to any country for free where would you go?
  6. What’s your phobia?
  7. If there were no consequences, what would you do that’s illegal?
  8. Do you play an instrument? Or; If you could play an instrument, what would it be?
  9. What’s the nicest thing that anyone has given you?
  10. Are you crafty? I don’t mean deceitful, but making things by hand.
  11. Are you a morning person or a night owl?

4b. Tag new people to answer them.

I just copied and pasted my blogroll because I’m really lazy. I should probably update my blogroll, too. There are some of you who are missing.

4b. Go to their blog/twitter and let them know they have been tagged.

Meh, I just pingbacked them all. Good enough.