Daily Post prompt: If you could read a book containing all that has happened and will ever happen in your life, would you? If you choose to read it, you must read it cover to cover.
There are many possible answers to this particular question, each requiring great thought and introspection. For example, one could answer “FUCK YEAH” or “of course” or even “duh.” You’d have to be a little silly in the head, or just not be me I suppose, to decline an offer like that.
However, who’s writing this tome? If it’s written by Cormac McCrappy, I think I might have to pass. I’ve waded through a book of his and threw it across the room. For the sake of McCarthy having nothing to do with my life, let’s say I wrote it. I’ve already written my autobiography up to now. So, let’s say I wrote Autobiography 2: The Sequel and it somehow flew through a time travel wormhole, or whatever it is that time travels through, and landed in my present day lap.
I’d read that. Who wouldn’t? A book about me written by me? Criminy, that’s almost too much awesome in one package. It might implode like a white dwarf star under the weight of its own awesome.
Anyway, say I wake up one morning and I’m spooning that book. Hell yeah, I’d read it. I would call in sick to work, neglect my animals and probably pee myself because I wouldn’t be able to tear myself away from it to use the ladies room. I’d be rapt.
Here is where all you naysayers say, well, what if it’s only 50 pages long? What if knowing your future changes the future? What if you get to the end and find yourself dead? To that, I say, PFFFFT. When I get to the end of my life, I’ll find myself dead no matter what. That is the nature of this universe. All things live and die. Given the chance to know, I would definitely take it.
If Volume 2 is only 50 pages long, well, so be it. I’d try to make those 50 pages the best pages they could possibly be. If, at the end of the book, there are some maudlin comments on things I would have done differently, I’d try to do those things differently. Having the option of knowing one’s regrets before one even regrets them is something I would not pass up, but I wouldn’t necessarily want to change the outcome. I am the version of myself that I am because of all the things that have happened to me. If you change one of those things, you might change the whole works and I wouldn’t want to do that. I like the me that I am and I hope I continue to be this me.
Although, if something happened to current me where I became a future me that I don’t quite like so much, e.g. Evil Me, I might change whatever it is that changed current me into Evil Me. Eesh. Time travel paradoxes are so complicated. I prefer Novikov’s self-consistency principle that says temporal paradoxes are impossible. We’re getting off point.
Unless I became Evil Me, I wouldn’t want to change anything; I’d just like to be comfortable with the decisions I make. I have found that, knowing the way things have turned out so far, I still wouldn’t have done anything terribly differently. I wouldn’t want to relive any of my past, but I wouldn’t change it either.
At the end of the book, I’d hope that I am comfortable in my own skin. I’d hope that I can look back on everything and not cringe anymore. I’d like to have accepted myself as I am, for everything I have been and done. I would rather go out with no regrets.