A Sentence No One Has Said

Found here.

So, I went looking for writing prompts on the internet and I found this:

Just lying around the internet here where anyone could find it.

Oooh, fun! Typically, prompts require you to write slightly more than one sentence, still, this appeals to my babbling, nonsensical side, so I’ll give it a whirl.

Betwixt yon Pekingese and the rapture, verily didst the aforementioned yeoman defenestrate the lip balm and begin to cherry cola the exhibition.

How do I know that no one has ever said that before? Well, I don’t. I will never know for certain. However, the odds are pretty good that 1) no one has ever been located between a Pekingese and the rapture 2) the use of “aforementioned” in a sentence where the subject is is not mentioned before strikes me as a particular comic device all of my own 3) even though someone at some point may have thrown lip balm out a window, I doubt it was a yeoman. 4) if a yeoman did defenestrate some lip balm, it is highly suspect that said yeoman would have followed that up by cherry cola-ing an exhibition since 4a) cherry cola isn’t a verb and 4b) one does not simply cherry cola into Mordor.

OK, just to be on the safe side, since it is possible that I’m not the first person to put those words together in that order in the entire history of the universe, let’s try it again:

With magnificent and regal pomp, Queen Wildenburger presented the reward and keys to the kingdom to the mighty steed who rode into the castle upon his white man for returning the wayward rainbow to the sky.

Again, I’m not sure whether those words have not been strung together before, but something tells me there’s never been a Queen Wildenburger. Also, horses don’t tend to ride on white men and rainbows don’t generally go missing. Well, they disappear all the time, but rarely are they ever returned for a reward.

More? OK, if you request. You people are never sated.

Brillow the barrister was chagrined at the thought of returning home to the mushroom field for the yearly reunion and midget toss after he had made such a mess of things with the “Bèrenger of the Long Arse” case.

I’m just going to assume that sentence is entirely original. People may have put parts of it together before, but I highly doubt anyone has ever said those exact words in that order. I win!

By the way, “Bèrenger of the Long Arse” (“Berengier au long Cou“) is a “real” story. It’s a medieval French fabliau. Why do I know these things? I have no idea.

Well, that was fun. Maybe I’ll try this exercise again sometime, but that’s all the time I have for today. You’ll just have to come up with your own (I dare you–double dog).