Dear GF of July 2012,

Hello there. How are you? I hope you are alive and well and all that rot. Please tell me you’re making more money than you were when I wrote this and that at least some of our debt is paid off. Oh, I guess you have no way to tell me that since we don’t have a time travel machine. Blast! I can talk to you, but you can’t reply. Fine. This will be a one-sided conversation then. Hm, I could be very juvenile about this and tell you that you smell and have cooties, but since you’re me, I won’t.

What can a person from the past really say to someone from the future? It’s not like I can give you any stock tips or anything. What do I really have to say to you? You know everything I could have to say since you are, in fact, me, just an older version. So, I’ll just say the following:

I hope you’re happy with the hair that I painstakingly grew out for you. I am enduring the awkward, mullet-phase so that you can have a decent head of hair. Enjoy my sacrifice.

Remember to take the animals to the vet and get the car serviced.

Take good care of my shoes.

Good luck.

xoxo.

GF of July 2011