Screw You, Reaperman

little_grim_reaper_wallpaper_by_hellknight10-jpgMy greatest achievement is still being alive. I’ve looked the grim reaper in the face and told him to bugger off on many occasions. We have a very intimate relationship. We’ve been on again, off again for decades. We know each other very well.

We first became acquainted when I was just a few months old. He came in the form of pneumococcal meningitis. Mr. Reaper took me away and a very obstinate pediatrician brought me back; repeat for months. I shouldn’t have even made it to my first birthday, but the pigheaded doctor wouldn’t let him take me.

Over the course of decades, this same battle was waged again and again. When I was just a teenager, he came in the form of a pretty serious drug addiction. Once again, he had me in his grasp, only to let go at the last possible second.

He came in the form of a giant SUV with a driver who wasn’t looking at the road and mowed me down inside my tiny American car. I woke up underneath a truck axle. He nearly succeeded that time, too.

He came in the form of skin cancer. He gave me scars that bear constant witness to his butchery and vendetta.

He gave me a very serious head injury. It messed with my brain and made me incapable of defending myself. I guess Mr. Reaper figured that if he couldn’t have me, he’d just break me instead. He’s a vengeful fucker without a sense of fair play.

He came in the form of my former best friend, all liquored up, who tried to kill me with his bare hands and almost succeeded. A split lip, a missing front tooth, scar tissue, a black eye and the imprints of ten fingers around my neck was all he got. Now, every time I brush my fake front tooth, I think of Mr. Reaper and all the grief he’s caused me.

But the fact is, I’m still here. He hasn’t gotten me yet, at least, not longer than a few seconds at a time. I’ve been in his world too many times. There is no tunnel or white light. There is only darkness. I don’t want to go back.

Eventually, he will win this battle. He and I both know this. He’s just biding his time. It’s inevitable that I will lose, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to give up without a fight. I will not go gentle into that good night. I will rage against the dying of the light. He’s going to have to take me by force.

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