If you were offered a free trip to the moon, would you go? Why or why not?

What a silly question. Of course I would go to the moon, especially if it was free. Free is the best price ever. I’ve seen a lot of crap bands play, looked at some crap art, watched some crap movies, performances and comedy shows simply because they were free. I’ve eaten terrible food handed to me on a toothpick because it was free. I’ve worn some godawful shirts, listened to some terrible CDs, smoked some fancy cigarettes and drank some undrinkable booze flavored with the tears of babies or some other such rot, all because they were free. I am the free guinea pig. I will be your research subject, your test market, your marketing data as long as you give me free in return. If I answer your anonymous, five-question survey, you’ll give me a stuffed Snoopy? Okay…

But, a free trip to the moon, well, you’d have to be a blamin’ idiot or impossibly sane to turn that one down. This is the moon we’re talking about. People would actually pay to go there. Billionaires would pay billions to go. I certainly would, but I’m not a billionaire. If a trip to the moon cost 1/5 of all of the money I made in my entire lifetime, I’d still probably go. It’d be worth it just to leave this stinkin’ planet once in my life.

I’d just hope that they fixed that whole space shuttle blowing up problem before I left. Even if they didn’t, I think igniting in a big fireball on my way out of the atmosphere would be a poetic way to go. If I did have to blow up, I’d hope it would be on the return trip. The space shuttle has got to be safer than driving a car anyway.