Would you rather be super intelligent or extremely good looking?

“As it happens, I’m already both,” she said as she flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Well, on second though, maybe that sentence is slightly more accurate without the modifiers: I am both intelligent and good looking. It’s quite the winsome pairing,” she boasted as she flipped her hair over her shoulder again in a fit of vanity.

All silliness aside, it’s an obvious choice: super intelligent. I’d much rather be ridiculously smart without the looks than ridiculously good looking without the smarts. Super intelligence is already appealing in and of itself. If it wasn’t enough, being super smart, I could divine a way to make myself extremely good looking. Whereas, if I were just extremely good looking, I’d just sit there looking pretty like the idiot I am.

Beauty is subjective, whereas intelligence is not. All beauty fades eventually. There’s nothing sadder than a 60-year-old model desperately clinging to the one and only thing they have: their looks.

Have you ever heard of an evil mastermind that was extremely good looking without the brainpower to back it up? Of course not. All evil masterminds throughout the ages have been ugly, Dick Cheney lookin’ toads. They’re the Wizard of Oz behind the screen with the intelligence to realize that they’re not pretty enough to truly control the masses without a figurehead.

The world certainly does not need more pretty people with nothing in their brainpans. We have too many of those already. Besides, if I was super intelligent, I could invent something to make a bajillion dollars with which I could buy all the extremely good looking people I wanted. I could have a whole stable of buxom beauties waiting at my beck and call as I plotted world domination.

Bwa ha ha.