Things I Saw In Beverly Hills Tonight


  • A shiny red, thoroughly totaled Ferrari on the back of a flatbed truck.
  • A shiny red, completely intact Ferrari driving down Rodeo Drive.
  • Christmas lights on all the shops, office buildings and even the palm trees.
  • Hardly any Christmas lights on any of the big, beautifully-manicured sprawling estates and only a few in the low(er) rent districts.
  • No celebrities.
  • No homeless people.
  • Tourists wearing shorts and t-shirts; locals bundled up in jackets and boots.
  • Not one instance of a turn signal being employed to signal a turn.
  • One instance of a turn signal employed on a vehicle that wasn’t turning.
  • Four Pekingese and two Golden Retrievers walking their owners.
  • A real Christmas tree, gently swaddled in a blanket, placed atop a real Rolls Royce.
  • Several pedestrians who entered a street, not at the crosswalk, without even looking to see if there was oncoming traffic, which there was – namely me – expecting that if there were any vehicles, they would stop for them.
  • Countless people in expensive cars not paying any attention to the road or their driving on it. I can only assume it’s because they think that every driving surface in the City of Beverly Hills is their own personal private property and that you are in their way, regardless of whether or not that is true according to the laws of the Great State of California.