Hello. Come on in and grab a cup. I recently switched from Nespresso to Keurig, because my free Nespresso machine died. I hate how wasteful Keurig is. Nespresso would recycle my old pods for me. Keurig does nothing of the kind. I have to recycle them myself. It’s messy and annoying. That said, I do like how many more options there are with Keurig. With Nespresso, it was their pods or make your own. With Keurig, you can have any kind of drink imaginable. My sister is a tea drinker so we even have that if you prefer. I’m drinking Dark Magic, which is for mornings only to jump start my brain.
Anyway, it’s the day before I fly across the United States. I haven’t finished packing yet in my usual last minute way, but I’m about 90% there. I’m flying out at dawn o’clock, so I need to get to sleep early tonight. I’m a night owl who’s been working from home since March 2020 and my usual bedtime is after midnight, so going to bed early is not easy. Maybe I’ll get a few hours sleep on the plane. I like overnight flights, because they’re generally quieter and with a 3 hour time change, they seem to lessen temporal confusion somewhat if I can manage even a little sleep.
I took my dog in for evaluation at the doggy ranch where she’s staying while I’m gone. I had to leave her there for four hours to see how she’d do. She passed! She was even put in the general pack, not the pack for problem children. She’s a bit of a neurotic mess, so I’ve had a niggling little worry about her passing the evaluation. I’m glad she did, because I didn’t really have a plan B.
I feel even better about her staying there now that I’ve visited the facility in person. It was spotless, didn’t smell like dogs, and the staff seemed plentiful and competent. The dogs are never left unsupervised, even at night when they’re sleeping in air conditioned bedrooms. They have 30 video feeds that you can peek in on any time of day or night.
When my dog was there for evaluation, I checked the feeds a couple of times and she was contentedly wandering around or lounging in the shade. She’ll be there with her best friend, my sister’s dog, so she won’t be alone, but this is the first time I’ll leave her overnight since I adopted her. Every other vacation I’ve taken, she’s gone with me. I’ll miss her hogging the bed.
The dog ranch requires collars with quick release buckles and her usual collar is belt buckle style, so she’s wearing the collar that she wore when I first brought her home as a starving stray 3 years and 2 weeks ago. I had to increase the circumference of the collar by over 2 inches (5 cm). I guess even her neck has gained weight since then. I stopped using that collar, because the buckle is plastic and I don’t quite trust it. It’s too bad since she does look quite fetching in plaid.
I’m not feeling too anxious about traveling. I don’t enjoy traveling, but I don’t get upset by it either. I hate airports mostly because of all the people. I’m not a huge fan of teeming masses of anything, particularly humans. Male was terribly anxious about flying, my sister and my mom are worriers about everything from getting to the airport on time to baggage claim; I am not. I look at flying as the world’s most high security, expensive, and ultimately boring amusement park ride. My favorite part is takeoff where you get that slight belly flip sensation. After that, it’s just tedium and ear popping.
I get a little anxious when I think about what this trip actually means. This is the first step towards moving somewhere that isn’t Los Angeles. It’s hard to believe that I’ve lived here for two decades. When I moved here, I was young and fresh faced with hopes and dreams. Now, I’m old and cynical, and just wanting more beauty in my life. I don’t think Los Angeles is pretty. I never have. Some people find the desert pretty; I am not one of those people. I find the desert foreboding and downright ugly.
I would like a house to call home and a backyard of my own–something I never have nor ever will be able to afford in Los Angeles. The city and I have never really fit together well anyway. I feel like I’ve spent the last two decades in shoes that are a size too large. I’m used to it, but it has never felt entirely comfortable. It hasn’t felt like home. When I answer “where do you live?” with “Los Angeles,” it still sounds foreign to me even after all these years. Boston was also foreign and never felt like home. I’m hoping I can find somewhere that does besides Michigan.
I’ve lived on the east coast, the west coast, and in-between. This next move will likely be my last (unless I settle somewhere I hate). I’d like a bit of a sense of community. Los Angeles doesn’t really have that. There are too many disparate pieces to make a cohesive whole. It’s too big, too transient, and too impersonal for that. You could live your entire life here without anyone really knowing you. I do like the anonymity of Los Angeles, but I want more.
I’ll be sad to go. I’ll miss some things about Los Angeles–probably the weather and the food. Whenever I move to a new part of the world, I find that I miss the food most of all. People are relatively easy to stay in touch with wherever you go, but excellent Mexican food within a mile of wherever you are in LA is surely to be a cause for wistfulness. Plus my favorite Mediterranean, Ethiopian, Bangladeshi, Thai, etc. restaurants. Los Angeles really does have the best and most diverse food options.
So, tomorrow I take the first step away from here. It makes me apprehensive thinking about moving away, mostly because of the move itself. I hate moving more than anything and I’ve done it a lot; the last big move was from the Atlantic to the Pacific ocean. I tend to be a nervous, bitchy wreck from the time I start packing until the last box is moved into the new place, which is why I hope this will be my last move.
Anyway, I’ll see y’all in a week or so. Safe travels.