There are words that refuse to take shape.

Words about death

abuse, rape, murder.

Words about knowing

YOU

WILL

DIE

down here on the ground at the bottom of the world.

You will die and he will kill you.

No one can save you.

You’re not sure you want saving anyway.

About knowing that the man on top of you will be done

–eventually.

About not knowing when your next meal will come

or the next smack in the face.

About that pounding heart as you run

and never get away

–not entirely.

About waking up under a blanket

of freshly fallen snow.

Your blood turns to ice

inside and out.

There are no words for that.

There are no words for never feeling safe

panic

terror

subjugation

violence

or the monsters that go bump in the night.

They are real.

Sometimes you are not.