I’ve seen a three days, three quotes challenge floating around lately. Well, not wanting to be left out, I’m going to give you three quotes of my own, i.e., I wrote them.

I may have misunderstood the point of this challenge since I didn’t actually read the rules… Anyway, what follows are some of my favorite quotes from this blog written by the always humble yours truly.

Sometimes, I go through FOG and read old posts, an experience not unlike watching a favorite movie you haven’t seen in a long time, or alternately, smelling an old shoe, depending on the post. I’m always amazed that I can make myself laugh a year or two or five later. It turns out, I am a funny fucker.

So, enjoy the fruits of my half an hour worth of digging:

1. From The Baby Jesus Can Kiss My Ass:

I try not to denigrate other people’s beliefs no matter how stupid they are.

2. From 10 Things I Hate Part 24:

Opinions are like assholes; everyone’s got one and no one wants to hear yours.

Since I can’t readily find a third quote that’s up to the standards of the first two and it would take a post approximately 4.67 War And Peaces long to showcase all the funny on this blog, I’m picking, essentially at random, a few more bits of humor/wisdom, or as I like to call it, humdom (I don’t really call it that because that’s a dumb name):

3a. From Put These In The Suck Column:

I prefer expressing myself in complete sentences. And sentence fragments.

3b. From Awesome Arcane Words Part 3:

He smacked an interrobang at the end of his snarky sentence. Bitches love interrobangs.

3c. From Pinterest: Or My Antisocial Vagina Part 2:

And that’s how I learned, once and for all, that my vagina, while practical and functional, is just not very social.

Honorable Mention: This is a real world quote that my friends refuse to let me live down:

Orange juice tastes funny without the vodka.

There are probably quotes that are way better than those, but I got tired of looking. All that reading of words was intruding on nap time.

The featured image is from a post called Synesthesia & Metaphors. There’s a bit about lascivious German fart gnomes that almost made this list.