Thar Be Dragons

NOTICE: This post contains extreme dorkery. Reader discretion is advised.

(lexi-alexander.com)
(lexi-alexander.com)

I’m a dork. I’m also a nerd, a geek and a dweeb–whichever you prefer. Honestly, I’ve never really understood the difference between nomenclature, since it’s like splitting hairs. I guess not understanding the difference between dork and nerd makes me less of one and more like the jocks who bullied us.

“Dork!”

“No, I’m a nerd.”

“Same difference, dork-nerd. I’m still kickin’ your ass after school!”

I’ve always been a dork-nerd. Once I got on the other side of puberty, I also became hella cool.

∗flips hair over shoulder

Dork-nerds do not have giant pink mohawks, leather jackets with spikes, steel-toed combat boots and safety pins through their flesh as accessories.

Except when they do.

For I, my friends, am both a badass attitudey punk chick and a dork-nerd. Booyah.

Just last week, I was coerced by my best friend into joining a band of itinerant travelers on a mission to the frozen northlands.

That's me on the left. (Paizo.com)
That’s me on the left with the shield.
(Paizo.com)

For those of you who aren’t wearing Star Wars Underoos at the moment, that piece of nonsense is a players guide for none other than… wait for it…

∗ahem∗

A DUNGEONS & DRAGONS CAMPAIGN.

Yes, D&D. Or what passes for it these days anyhow.

  • Dungeons & Dragons is now called Pathfinder (I think), whatever that is.
  • Campaigns are called Adventure Paths.
  • Dungeon Masters are called Game Masters.
  • There are new classes called Barbarian, Bard, Druid, Monk and Sorcerer.

There still is no real fighting and all the action is decided by one of these:

250

Not much else is the same, but at least that much is familiar.

Reign of Winter is a Pathfinder (Dungeons & Dragons) Adventure Path (campaign) where we few have to stop a winter witch (who actually is Baba Yaga) from spreading winter all over the place… or something. I don’t know. We haven’t actually started yet.

Winter isn’t coming; it’s already here. It’s mighty cold in Heldren in southern Taldor (yes, that’s a real make-believe place).

I’d like to tell you that it’s been about 300 years since I played D&D, but really, we’re only going back about 10 years or so since my last bout with a dragon. Still, so much has changed that it’s like starting all over again.

I have to figure out what type of character I want to be. I’m thinking a Hunter, Warpriest, Druid or Slayer.

SLAYER! SLAYER! SLAYER! No, not that kind of Slayer.
SLAYER! SLAYER! SLAYER!
No, not that kind of Slayer.

All these new classes and stuff certainly do make it difficult to choose. I guess it all depends on what skills my traveling companions have.

If I do get to have a companion animal though, I’m totally choosing a bear. I’ll name him Nanuk.

I can totally see how this would be useful in battle. (amusingplanet.com)
I can totally see how this would be useful in battle.
(amusingplanet.com)

Anyone have any experience with D&D, specifically this new Pathfinder thingy? Are you a dork-nerd? What would you choose as your animal companion?