goldfish misc. business

Five Truths, One Lie

Yesterday, in the Junk Drawer post, I posted six statements. One of them was a lie. Here are the details.

I’ve only met a handful of family members.

Truth. I might have a big family, but I haven’t met most of it. I have met: three grandparents, four of my grandmother’s siblings. five of their children, one aunt on my dad’s side, one uncle on my mom’s side and five first cousins. Most of the people mentioned at the beginning of that list are dead. I always wanted a big family and never had one.

I’ve been outside of America seven times to visit Canada, Mexico, The Bahamas, England, Scotland, Ireland and France.

LIES! And a trick question at that! While that list of countries I’ve been to is entirely accurate, I’ve been to Canada and Mexico a bunch of times, thereby raising the number of times I’ve left the country to a lot more than seven.

When I lived in Boston and visited Detroit several times a year, I actually commuted through Canada. Plus, I am from Detroit and Windsor, Ontario, Canada is literally right across the river. The drinking age in Canada was lower than in the US, so you do the math.

I’ve lived in 14 different neighborhoods in 3 different states.

Truth. Most of the moves were when I still lived in Michigan. In the Detroit metro area, I lived in Southfield, Rochester, Warren, Dearborn, Berkeley, northwest, southwest and downtown Detroit.

In the four years I lived in Boston, I lived in three neighborhoods: Fields Corner, Savin Hill and two apartments in Dorchester.

In almost fifteen years in Los Angeles, I’ve only lived in five apartments: the westside, downtown and three in the same area of the valley.

Over the course of my life, I’ve had 12 dogs, 6 lizards, 4 cats, 3 rats and 2 fish.

Truth. I’ve described most of my animals in the post Dia De Los Animales Meurtos, but not all of them.

Dogs:

  1. Tammy, white German shepherd
  2. Minnie the terrier mutt
  3. Daisy the dachshund
  4. Megan, miniature schnauzer
  5. Fritz, miniature schnauzer
  6. Franz, miniature schnauzer. We had Fritz and Franz at the same time after Megan was run over by a truck.
  7. Lexi, golden retriever
  8. Maggie, yellow lab
  9. Gregis, border collie/bouvier mix
  10. Maddy, German shepherd/yellow lab
  11. Lexi 2, black lab. She already had that name when we rescued her.
  12. Isabel, my current mutt.

Lizards:

  1. Edison the iguana
  2. Walter the bearded dragon. Yup, I had a pet dragon.
  3. Veiled chameleon
  4. Fat-tailed gekko
  5. Leopard gekko
  6. Blue-tongued skink

Other than the bearded-dragon and iguana, I can’t remember any of the other lizards’ names. My lizard phase was a long time ago and none of the rest lived very long. I am so not good with lizards. It was after the lizard-pocalypse that I decided no more animals in cages.

Cats:

  1. Tigger
  2. Sherekahn
  3. Aslan
  4. Fu, my current lardass as featured in The World’s Dumbest Cat.

Rats:

  1. Race
  2. Plague
  3. Fink

Fish:

  1. Goofus
  2. Gallant

All of them (except the fish) were rescue animals from the pound or from people who didn’t want them anymore.

I’ve had a professional manicure and massage.

Truth. Though I’ve only had one professional manicure before my sister’s wedding, I’ve had many massages. The last time was by a tiny Thai woman who twisted me into knots. I was sore for two days afterward.

I’ve had 10 different job titles.

Truth. They are:

  1. Parker
  2. Customer Service Representative
  3. Receptionist
  4. Data entry
  5. Systems Administrator
  6. Business Development Coordinator
  7. Senior Business Development Manager
  8. Marketing Manager
  9. Graphic Designer
  10. Art Director

How many of you guessed correctly?