Winning Possums

Evil Squirrel is having a contest! I do so love contests. Let’s see. What are the rules? Entries are required to have a squirrel, a unicorn and a possum.

Sweet! I’ve already drawn two out of three! We have a squirrel…


And a unicorn…

unicornSo, all I’m missing is a possum!

Oh. But, I hate possums. I once said that I won’t consider possums proper beasts until they put their skulls back inside their skin where they belong. How on earth can you make this cute?

I will devour your soul.
I will devour your soul.

Well, I said the same thing about crabs, and I managed to make one of those cute:


So, I guess we can do the same for the disgusting, rabies spitting, dog taunting possum. This will be a challenge. Thanks a lot, Evil Squirrel. You and your damn possums. Fine. Possums it is.

First, our hopelessly cute possum needs a body, which will end up looking much like a lump of coal or a deformed bean. It turns out that most animals I draw start off as deformed beans:

Picture 1Deformed bean possum it is. It needs some appendages. What do possum feet look like? I have no friggin’ clue. To the research-mobile, Batman.

Gah! Kill it!
Gah! Kill it!

OK, they have claws. As if they aren’t creepy enough already, Possums have spindly little finger-like claws. Let’s draw some claws. From that picture, it looks like they have four on each foot. At least, that’s all I’m drawing since I don’t want to get any closer to the creepy jerks.

Picture 2We have foot. Now we need at least three more of them.

Picture 3So far, so good. Two more…

Picture 4There. I drew my possum sitting because I don’t like the concept of them moving at all, like, ever.

Now, it needs a tail. They have rat-like tails. I like rats much better than possums. I used to have a few pet rats: Plague, Race and Fink. Anyway, rat tail coming up.

Picture 5Alright, let’s blend that a little bit…

Picture 6Much better. Now what? Oh, right. The creepy possum head. I hate their heads most of all. That’s where all the rabies spitting happens.

I’m going to make the cutest damn possum head possible without actually taking a close look at a possum head, because who wants to closely inspect a possum head? Not me, that’s who.

Picture 9

Haha! It’s got a heart on its head! Take that possums of the world! You have heart heads! Not so scary now, are ya?

I suppose it needs a nose and some beady little eyes, too.

Picture 8

Lookit da widdle possum all cute and pink with its heart head. Daaaaaaaw. Maybe possums aren’t so bad after all. At least, this one isn’t.

Now, to put it up for sale on Redbubble, and we’re done! So, there you have it–a post with a possum, a unicorn and a squirrel.


Even though it doesn’t come close to the Alice At Wonderland’s spectacular drawing, I hope I come in second.