Daily Post prompt: A writer once said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” If this is true, which five people would you like to spend your time with?
Hooo boy. In real life, I spend the most time with:
- Co-worker who never says anything because he’s constantly wearing headphones.
So far, I haven’t managed to acquire a taste for sticks or licking myself. That’s a pretty sad list. Let’s make it a little more shiny.
1. Santa Claus.
“Ho Ho Ho.”
He seems like a jolly fellow. He likes kids and wants to make them happy, which is pretty much the opposite of me. I don’t mean to imply that I want to make kids unhappy or anything. Really, I’m happy as long as they’re not around me.
Skills to pickpocket from Santa: Bringing joy to the world and being jolly.
2. Abraham Lincoln.
“In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”
This cat could deliver a speech. I cannot. I have a horrible fear of public speaking. I’d like to speak as well as Lincoln. Plus, he was really good at keeping his tenuous presidential cabinet together. He famously put the phrase “keep your friends close and your enemies closer” into practice. Plus, the whole winning the civil war and ending slavery thing.
Skills to pickpocket from Abe: oration, political manipulation.
“Dreams save us. Dreams lift us up and transform us. And on my soul, I swear…until my dream of a world where dignity, honor and justice becomes the reality we all share–I’ll never stop fighting. Ever.”
I’d really like Superman’s ability to turn back time. Well, that and the flying. And stronger than a speeding bullet, or whatever it is. Superman’s got some pretty awesome skills.
Skills to pickpocket from Clark: turning back time, flying, being upstanding, whatever he does with bullets.
4. Douglas Adams
“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
Douglas Adams has the amazing ability to write funny fiction. I can write funny. I can write fiction. However, it seems I can’t do both at once.
Skills to pickpocket from Adams: how to write funny fiction.
5. Archimedes of Syracuse
“δῶς μοι πᾶ στῶ καὶ τὰν γᾶν κινάσω” (Give me the place to stand, and I shall move the earth.)
I have a hell of a hard time with mathematics. I always have and I’m not sure why. Maybe if I hung out with some famous mathematicians, a little of it would rub off on me and then I could take my college math placement test with confidence. Archimedes looks like he can do the hell out of some math.
Skills to pickpocket from Archie: math skills.