Hello, my friends! Now that the important business of Dad death has been dealt with, we can get on with other business. It’s been so long, I don’t know where to start, so I’m just going to give you a list of random things, because when all else fails, I can always make random lists.

1. After four years of mostly running in the red, I’m happy to report an increase in quarterly earnings, Barring unforeseen market conditions, we can expect this increase to be permanent! On Thursday, I received a 10% raise. I’ve gone from being grossly underpaid to mildly underpaid both for the job I do and by market standards. Best of all, it’s a merit increase, because I kick some serious ass. Yay!
2. Someone hit my car in the parking lot at work and didn’t leave a note. Security cameras were unable to capture the carnage. Said party hit my car so hard that it actually bent the quarter panel and ruined the paint. It will cost me $1000 in insurance deductible, since it’s technically a hit and run. There goes my raise. Spineless cowards.
3. While I was in Michigan for my Dad’s memorial with my dog, she had to have emergency surgery. She had a growth on her chest that ruptured. She’s fine now, but I’m still paying off the surgery. There goes my raise.
4. Tornado warnings are still pants-peeingly terrifying. On the way home from Michigan, I drove straight into one. The rain was going horizontal and the sky was that awful greenish-black you only see with tornados. I’m glad I don’t live in tornado alley. Scary stuff.
5. As I was stopped at a traffic light during rush hour on Friday, I saw a car half-pull into a gas station, blocking a lane on the street, and traffic in and out of the gas station. A guy got out of the passenger side, gave the driver two middle fingers, and walked down the street. A small woman got out of the car, left the car running and the door open, and ran after the guy. She did a running jump with fists a-flying on his back. The light changed.
6. What did WordPress do to comments? It took three tries to reply to comments yesterday. I’d like to take this opportunity to tell WordPress to eat a dick for once again messing with things that didn’t need to be messed with. Also, why is my post from last week dated July 19th? What in Sam’s biscuits are you doing over there, WordPress?
7. One of my coworkers died on Friday. I’ve known him for 17 years. I will have to go to the funeral. He had cancer wrapped around his spine. They tried doing treatment, but it didn’t work, so he spent his last few months in hospice.
8. I don’t want to die in hospice. If I had an incurable, life-ending disease, I’d probably end it before it came to that. I’d rather die pretty much anywhere but hospice or a hospital. That’s no way to go out.
9. Not only have I not been on here in forever, I haven’t been anywhere. Since Male died, and now my father, I’ve been going through the motions of living, without actually living. I’m slowly making my way out into the world again. I reconnected with an old friend of mine yesterday, which makes me very happy.
10. Sorry if I made you worry with my disappearance. I’ve been meaning to post about my dad since December. I wasn’t ready to post about that, but I couldn’t post about anything else until I dealt with it. It would have felt wrong. I hope to be here more often. How are you? I missed your face.