This post is the result of one of those wacky notions I get when randomly listening to my music library. It occurred to me, when listening to the first song on this list, that there are a lot of love songs about inanimate objects. Since I’m not really big on real love songs, especially since the love of my life died, I decided to find more in my music library.
Here are 10 of the greatest love songs about things that aren’t people in no particular order than that in which they occurred to me. In the interest of not having this list be entirely about places, I’ve chosen to omit songs about specific destinations like New York, New York and Chicago. There are a bunch more–this list could go on forever–but these are the first 10 that I thought of.
1. Black Sabbath – Sweet Leaf
The song that started this whole silly idea. There are a lot of love songs about weed, but for my money, this one is the best. It’s actually one of my favorite Sabbath songs.
objet d’amour: marijuana
When I first met you, didn’t realize
I can’t forget you, for your surprise
You introduced me to my mind
And left me wanting you and your kind
I love you, oh you know it
2. Mike Ness – I’m In Love With My Car
MIke Ness was/is the lead singer for Social Distortion, a band that I loved as a teenager. This is from his solo album, which is one of my favorites. I can relate to this song since that sound of a V8 engine turning over at the beginning is enough to make you purr. I was also in love with my 1970 Buick Skylark named Tank before I had to give her to a better home. I miss her.
Note: This is not a cover of the Queen song with the same title, which is also pretty nifty.
objet d’amour: a car
Ain’t got a girl
I ain’t got many friends
Gonna drive that car of mine
To the living end
3. Trooper – Roller Rink
Ah, the 70s, where musically, anything went. The 1970s produced the best music in modern history. Obviously, most of the music made in that decade can’t compare to Beethoven, but as far as modern music goes, it’s the best decade. Take, for example, the Sabbath video above and this song. It’s a stupid song about roller skating, but musically, it’s actually pretty badass.
This is the dumbest video ever, but it’s the only YouTube video I could find of this song, so don’t pay too much attention to the visuals.
objet d’amour: roller skating
I’m gonna go on down to the roller rink
And roll my blues away
Gonna strap on a pair of roller skates
4. Hammerlock – Cold Coors
Coors in a can is probably the worst American beer ever, only rivaled for king of terrible beers by Budweiser. Seriously, why would you drink Coors when you could drink anything else?
Anyway, no matter how you feel about Coors, here’s an awesome love song about it. Enjoy.
objet d’amour: beer
Cold Coors in a can
A shot of whiskey and a cigarette
in this life, that’s your one sure bet to have a good time
5. Honky/Pat Travers – Snortin’ Whiskey
And while, we’re on the subject of alcohol, here’s a love song about whiskey and cocaine. The original is by Pat Travers, but I prefer Honky’s version. This is a cover, but you should check out Honky’s original music, because they are supremely badass.
This video features Pepper Keenan of Corrosion of Conformity and Kirk Windstein of Crowbar, if you’re into that sort of thing. The singer for Honky is Jeff Pinkus from The Butthole Surfers, also if you’re into that sort of thing, which I surely am.
objet d’amour: whiskey and cocaine
I got so much cocaine ain’t never comin’ down
Snortin’ whiskey and drinkin’ cocaine
Got this feelin’ I’m gonna drive that girl insane
6. Zeke – Punk Rock Records
Oh, Zeke. They’re probably my favorite modern hardcore punk band. By modern, I mean they didn’t exist in the 70s or 80s. Their longest song is a cover of Fleetwood Mac’s Rhiannon, which is absolutely terrible, but I love it anyway. Most of their songs are about a minute long, including this one.
objet d’amour: punk rock records
She loves punk rock records
She plays them every night
She loves punk rock records
She plays them every day
7. Run-DMC – My Adidas
I admit to owning a pair of Adidas Superstars, the black ones with white stripes. Besides my Converse All Stars, they are my favorite shoes, but since they’re leather, they’re winter shoes while Converse are summer shoes. When one pair wears out, I buy another.
objet d’amour: shoes
we travel on gravel, dirt road or street
I wear my Adidas when I rock the beat
on stage front page every show I go
it’s Adidas on my feet high top or low
8. B.B. King – Lucille
If I played guitar, I would definitely name mine and probably write a song about it, too. Fortunately, I don’t. Lucille is not one B.B. King guitar, but all of the guitars he’s ever played.
objet d’amour: a guitar
The sound that you’re listenin’ to
Is from my guitar that’s named Lucille
I’m very crazy about Lucille
9. Descendents – Van
It’s hard to choose just one love song from the Descendents about inanimate objects, since they have a few, but Van is one of my favorites. It’s about freedom.
objet d’amour: a van
Here in my van
I can eat my small squid
Dance the can-can
With my feet in the air
10. Clutch – Easy Breeze
This is one of Clutch’s prettiest songs, if you can call Clutch songs pretty. It’s about a love affair with nature and all the colors it can produce.
objet d’amour: nature
Easy breezy beautiful colored world
I’m in love with you
Your colors are a comedy
What are your favorite love songs about inanimate objects?