I have a little dream. It’s really a rather tiny dream, barely visible to the naked eye. It’s buried deep under the dirt in seed form, but it does exist.

My dream is to have my own business. It’s headquartered in a small office that doubles as a storefront, preferably near a school, so it would get lots of walk in traffic from kids buying shirts. Or, more likely, parents buying shirts for their kids to stop their constant begging for my unicorn shirt.

My office would have lots of natural light, fun colors, and comfortable places to sit. It would be dog-friendly with a little cordoned off area, so that I could take my dog to work every day. I would have an employee to deal with sales so I don’t have to. I could do freelance work from the little office to supplement my unicorn t-shirt empire.

My dream is to see a car driving down the road with a bumper sticker I made or a person walking down the street in my t-shirt.

My Redbubble venture has proven than there is, in fact, a market demand for my arty wares. This month has been my most successful month yet, already crushing my previous-high Christmas sales numbers, and the month is only halfway over.

So, yeah, it’s not a very big dream. It’s not nearly as big as my dream to visit outer space before I die. It’s even maybe achievable. It wouldn’t even take all that much to make it happen; just some money, promotion skills and guts, none of which I currently have.

This dream of mine formed all by itself in the dirt when Male was still alive. It didn’t have to be here in LA. This little office could really be anywhere.

On the way home from work, I would secretly judge all the offices for rent I passed and think to myself, yes, no, that’s a maybe. That space is perfect! I wonder how much it is?

And then, one month ago today, Male died and it put a damper on everything forever. But, even now, the dream is not dead. It’s just hibernating there under the weight of grief in the darkness under all that dirt.

For the first time since Male died, it poked its head out this morning when I accidentally stumbled on an article about small businesses. The little dream is not dead, but it will be a long time before I plan anything again.

I can’t see the little dream without Male, but this morning, I got a glimpse. This glimpse made me sad, but it also made me glad that the little dream is not gone.

Someday, maybe it will break through all the ice and snow and dirt covering it. Maybe someday, I’ll have the guts and the money and the drive. That day is not today.

Do you have a dream?