I am a pie snob, because I am an expert nth-generation pie-maker. I have yellowed and blotched index cards with hard to read handwriting on which, the recipes of our family pies are written. About 10 years ago, I typed them all out in a Word document so you can actually read them. Now, they live in a three-ring binder inside those little plastic page protector things, so if I spill anything on the recipe–which is incredibly likely since I am not a neat cook–they won’t become impossible to read like the index cards.

My mom is even better at pie-making than I am since she’s been doing it longer and has more practice. She barely even glances at the recipes anymore. Her crust has absolutely the perfect amount of flakiness, although, she makes hers a little thicker than mine.

Did I mention that we make the crust from scratch, too? A lot of people don’t. They’ll go through all the bother of making the filling and then throw it in that crappy hard as cement store-bought crust.

I don’t get that. It’s like taking a perfectly marbled steak and cooking it in the microwave. Why bother making it yourself at all if you’re not going to do it right? Just go order a piece of pie/steak somewhere instead.

Anyway, I prefer my crust slightly thinner than my mom makes it, since even though I make homemade crust, it’s not my favorite part of the pie. The best part is the filling. The crust’s job is to hold it all together and not taste like cardboard. My crust is always a little irregular and I don’t take the time or effort to make it look pretty, because my family’s food is not about presentation, but taste.

Pie season is fast approaching. Pie season starts with Thanksgiving and ends with Christmas. During this time, I make at least six pies. One pumpkin pie for my sister and I, and two to take to my best friend’s house for Thanksgiving dinner. It’s the only thing I’m allowed to take. She puts me down for pie every year.

Repeat on Christmas, although it’s not pumpkin pie. Last year, I made two pecan and two cherry. One pecan for me, one to take to my friend’s house. One cherry for my sister, one to take to my friend’s house. My sister is not a fan of pecan pie, because she’s insane. It’s my favorite pie. Well, it’s right up there with Dutch apple, which is just like regular apple, but with delicious crumblies on top.

This year, I’m debating whether to pie or not to pie for Thanksgiving since my friend isn’t hosting Thanksgiving and my parents are coming for Christmas and New Year. We’ll be doing a lot of pie-ing then since, sandwiched in the time they’ll be here are my sister’s and my father’s birthdays. We’re making pecan pie for Christmas since it’s my dad’s favorite.

My sister and I are still debating whether it’s worth the bother and expense to have a proper Thanksgiving meal with just the two of us. It seems like a lot of trouble to make pie for just for two people.

Eh, who am I kidding? Like I’m not going to have pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving. That’s crazy talk.

Remember, folks, pie should have homemade crust or it’s not a pie at all. Do you make pies? What’s your favorite?

This mouthwatering post was inspired by the really strange Weekly Writing Prompt about pie.