Not too long before we quit drinking altogether, Male and I were out with some friends drinking and dancing at a favorite bar downtown Los Angeles that played reggae music. The front of the joint was a very packed dance floor. The back had an outdoor patio seating area. We used to trek down on the metro and walk there, trying to avoid all the bum pee on the streets.

At that point in our long and varied career, Male and I were just friends. I was talking to some boys from Finland. These Finnish boys were on tour in a circus sideshow that had just performed in Los Angeles. They were moving on to Las Vegas the next day. They live halfway around the world and were only in town for one night, yet on that night, we somehow met. Los Angeles is weird like that with all its tiny fragile connections that remind you how small the world really is.

Male was up at the front dancing like a fool. I was outside on the patio with the Finns. Though I was slightly smitten with one of them, I had no designs on the Finnish boys since they were only in town for the night. I was just enjoying talking to people from another country that I’d very likely never see again. There is something to be said about the freedom of single-serving friends.

Male kept coming out to the patio to try to get me to dance with him and I kept brushing him off. He was far drunker than I was, and if you’re not as drunk as he is, Male is or was an annoying drunk.

Whenever he wanted to know how to say something in Finnish, he’d start with “¿Cómo se dice…?” as if they spoke Spanish. I told him they are from Finland, not Mexico. He said, I’m just so used to asking people how you say things in Spanish. Sigh. The Finns thought it was relatively humorous though and they didn’t mind since, before they arrived in Los Angeles, they were in Mexico and made use of that phrase a lot.

So, the evening progressed with everything getting louder and drunker, including me. Male plateaued and I ascended to his drunken heights, so we were evenly matched. It was time to go. The only way out of the bar was through it, so Male grabbed me by the hand and led me through the dance floor. Right in the middle, he stopped short like he forgot something in the other direction. He squeezed my hand, spun around and pulled me into his arms.

Just as randomly, he said, “I’ve decided to give you all of my love,” and he kissed me. It was the kind of kiss where the rest of the world disappears and you are only in that moment. The building could have caught on fire and it wouldn’t have mattered. I’ve only had a few kisses like that in my lifetime and I remember every single one as if it happened yesterday. It is as close to zen enlightenment as a human can get.

I’m not sure how long we stood there, swaying with the loud beat and dripping with sweat, but it was long enough that I forgot where we were. Or maybe it was just the alcohol. When I came up for air, I remembered important things like keys and wallet. I couldn’t feel my bag on my shoulder and started to panic. He said, “I’ve had it the whole time.” He raised his giant paw, and in it, was my little bag. The world was safe again.

We bid farewell to the Finnish boys–I kissed them on the cheek–and hopped on the metro. I rested my head on Male’s shoulder and fell asleep. I do not and cannot sleep in public, but I did on the train that night. The world felt safe.

Male wrote about that night, too. He let me read it. I wish I still had his version, because it’s better than mine. We have no idea what song was playing at the time, but in his version, the song morphed from random bass thumping unknown reggae song to Boombastic by Shaggy. And that’s how a completely ridiculously song came to represent a world-blurring moment.

What you want is boombatic, romantic, fantastic lover.
Shaggy.
Mr. Lover, lover. Mmm. Mr. Lover, lover. Hahaha girl. Mr. Lover lover, mmm. Ah Mr. Lover, lover.
She call me Mr. Boombastic, say me fantastic, touch me on my back she say I’m Mr. Ro….mantic.
Call me fantastic touch me on my back she say I’m Mr. Ro…

Smooth, just like a silk, soft and cuddly, hug me up like a quilt.
I’m a lyrical lover, no take me for no filth.
With my sexual physique Jah know me well built.
Oh me, oh my, well well can’t you tell?
I’m just like a turtle crawling out of my shell.
Gal you captivate my body put me under a spell
With your cus cus perfume I love your sweet smell
You are the only young girl that can ring my bell
And I can take rejection so you tell me go to hell
I’m Mr. Boombastic say me fantastic touch me in my back she says I’m Mr.
Ro…mantic
I’m Mr. Boombastic say me fantastic touch me in my back she says boom
boom
boom
I’m Mr. Boombastic say me fantastic touch me in my back she says I’m Mr.
Ro…mantic
I’m Mr. Boombastic say me fantastic touch me in my back she says boom
boom

Gee wheeze baby please
Let me take you to an island of the sweet cool breeze
You don’t fell like drive baby hand me the keys
And I’ll take you to a place to set your mind at ease
Don’t you tickle my foot bottom ha ha baby please
Don’t you play with my nose I might hachoo sneeze
Well you a the bun and me a the cheese
And if me a the rice well baby girl you a the peas

[CHORUS]

Give me your loving gal your loving well good
I want your loving gal give it like you should
Give me your loving girl your loving well good
I want your loving gal you remember the woo
Would like to kiss and caress
Rub down every strand of hair on my chest
I’m boombastic rated as the best
The best you should get nothing more nothing less
Give me your digits jot down your address
I’ll bet you confess when you put me to the test
That I’m

[CHORUS]

Gal your admiration it a lick me from the start
With your physical attraction gal you know to feel the spark
A man of few word naw go tell you no sweet talk
Naw go laba laba and a chat pure fart
I’ll get straight to the point like a arrow or a dart
Come lay down in my jacuzzi and get some bubble bath
Only sound you will here is the beating of my heart
And we will mmm (kiss) and have some sweet pillow talk
I’m
[CHORUS]