The reason I love Mad Lib contests, besides the fact that they’re funny as hell, is that it’s really anyone’s game. It’s not necessarily the words that are funny, but the context and you can’t know how they fit into the story until afterward.

Unlike the last contest when we had three two-way ties, this year, we have a decided winner and a new champion! This little slice of poetry was put forth by none other than Mental Mama from Mental In The Midwest:

Benedict Cumberbatch ran inside the litterbox, pushing a tube out of the cat, as if he knew where he was banging. He didn’t. He smoked at a furry couch and slunk. The cabbage behind the furry couch pointed up at the squishy bowl. Benedict Cumberbatch started jerking up the cat o nine tails because it seemed smellier. It wasn’t.

He washed the squishy bowl and farted down the hallway. He fucked his mother and ran. When he flew in front of her, she didn’t even look up. Benedict Cumberbatch fainted beside his mother and bundled her into his bubbly squirrels. She accepted them forcefully, but no combat boots came. Her tattoos were creative, hilarious and free-wheeling.

Congratulations, MM! You’re a winner! Please use the comment form on my about page to collect your winnings!

As for second place, well, you all have dirty minds, because Revis from 33 Grams Of Blog:

Macon Yucum ran inside the dingleberry, pushing a pubic hair out of the assless chaps, as if he knew where he was humping. He didn’t. He ejaculated at a horny condom and licked. The anus behind the horny condom pointed up at the fugly edible panties. Macon Yucum started spanking up the whipped cream bikini because it seemed sluttier. It wasn’t.

He stroked the fugly edible panties and sucked down the hallway. He urinated his mother and ran. When he farted in front of her, she didn’t even look up. Macon Yucum wiped beside his mother and bundled her into his gassy balls. She accepted them lewdly, but no scrotums came. Her butt cheeks were lubricated, diseased and erotic.

I don’t have any moneys for you, Revis, because I’m poor, but if you’re interested in guest posting, let me know.

Because a FOG contest wouldn’t be a FOG contest without a tie, in third place, we have a tie between Twindaddy from Stuph Blog and Alice from Alice At Wonderland. Congratulations! You get nothing! I did make you a badge though.

And now, as I mentioned, badges, because some of you expressed an interest in having them. I stole the idea from Evil Squirrel of making a participation badge as well for those of you who played along. Kindly take your newly redesigned 2014 badge (if you want, no pressure).

Thanks to everyone who participated and voted. These contests wouldn’t be contests without entries and votes. You’re all winners to me. We’ll do another one at some point. Stay tuned.