Dear most valued customer,

This is a reminder that open enrollment for the 3rd Annual Fish Of Gold Mad Lib Extravaganza Givawayery ends tomorrow. If you do not enter, you will be assessed with a tax penalty in the 2014 calendar year and gnomes will come to your house to watch you while you sleep. Also, seven years of bad luck and a baby kitty will die.

Help save the baby kitties. Enter today. Thank you.

Sincerely,

The management.

P.S. Now that I think about it, don’t enter since it means more work for me.