Hello there. Where am I? I can’t see anything at all. I can’t move either. I’m green. I look like a helmet or a deformed Lima bean. I don’t feel like a helmet or a Lima bean.
Now I’m spotted. I’m not a Lima bean, unless I’m an exceptionally messed up one. I suppose I’m a helmet with spots. Am I a military helmet? Are we going to war? I don’t want to go to war. I don’t feel very warlike. Besides, I can’t move at all. Maybe helmets aren’t meant to move.
Now, I’m really confused. What are those things? Wait, I can move them! Well, at least, I can move the ones that are attached to the helmet. I can move them! I’m a helmet with things that move. Neat.

Wow. Now all the things are attached and the helmet has an underside. I can move around any which way I want! I can’t see anything and I ran into something a bit ago, but I can move! This is awesome!

OK, now there’s something out front. I’m not sure what it is, but it’s mostly round. Let’s see where this is going, except I still can’t see. Figure of speech.

I can see!!! Oh my, there are colors and shapes and things! I’ll never run into anything ever again! This is amazing.

This just keeps getting better! I have a mouth to eat things with now! I must admit, I was a little hungry. And what’s that hanging out the back there? I have a tail. I always wanted a tail.

What am I called? A turtle? OK, I’m a turtle. I can walk and see and eat things and waggle my tail. I like being a turtle.

Thanks for making me a turtle, lady. Much obliged.

Apparently, you can buy me on Redbubble if you’re into that sort of thing.