I don’t care about your pop stars and your top 40 music. Not since I was only four feet tall in the 80s have I cared about what everyone else cares about in the form of popular culture.

I haven’t seen the Miley Cyrus video. MTV broadcasts about as music television these days as I do, which is to say hardly any at all.

I am vaguely aware that there is a celebrity called Miley Cyrus who is the daughter of some country star and was on a children’s show some years back when she was a child herself. She might be some sort of singer.

That’s about as much as I know, and honestly, it’s more than I’d care to. Does anything in that paragraph about Miley above effect my life whatsoever? No. I do not care about your Cyruses, your Kardashians or your whoever else is in the tabloids these days. I don’t even recognize half of the names and faces. If Miley Cyrus mugged me at gunpoint, I would have an impossible time picking her out of a lineup if she wasn’t making this face:

By the way, I used to have that haircut. Way to be me fifteen years ago, Miley. You’re so edgy. You’re a rebel, whoever the hell you are. Bah.

So, that’s pretty much my answer to this week’s Mind The Gap poll:

I plunked my answer on the “Miley Montana who?” box, but I am also pretty much in the agreement with the “She ain’t the only one. Madonna, anyone? Remember the great wardrobe malfunction?” camp.

This is not new or news. This is not someone crossing a line. This is someone wearing more clothing than I’ve seen on your average beach-goer in Los Angeles doing a stupid dance and making faces. This is not interesting. This is a bunch of people talking about nothing.

Who cares? A lot of you do I bet, but not me. I don’t care about any of it. Out of some sort of misguided yen to know what was what, I listened to that Blurred Lines song (not linking because you all know what I’m talking about and if you don’t, you aren’t missing a thing). It’s awful. It’s watered down pop crap with a hip-hop interlude. It’s not interesting, new or even vaguely good.

This is why I don’t listen to pop music. I never have. The incredibly low caliber of pop music that people actually found palatable used to infuriate me. It pissed me off that people were actually giving money to these hack artists when so many good musicians were out there making excellent stuff.

I got over it. People will always gravitate towards the lowest common denominator. People instinctively want to be part of the crowd. I get it. I used to be that way, too, when I was four feet tall. Humans want to like what’s in and own what’s cool. They want to be lauded for their excellent taste in liking what everyone else does.

Like whatever you want. It is your right. But can we, please, put this idiotic topic to bed now and get on with more pressing matters? I am way more interested in what’s going on in Syria or Egypt than I am about some teen pop star’s hoochie dance. People have been gyrating their hips since they first learned that they could. It’s not controversial. It’s not new and it sure as fuck ain’t news.