I am a graphic designer. I’ve been a graphic designer for something like fifteen years. I know the shit out of graphic design. I can whip up a website or a catalog in a jif. I drew a unicorn yesterday in Illustrator in about 20 minutes. Alas, it’s not nearly as rainbowy as it could be, but it’s very corny:

What I’m saying is, I got that design problem handled. I draw unicorns in expensive software just for fun. What’s interesting though is that none of these skills that I have transfer at all to interior design. One would think that, since they both have design right there in the title, that graphic and interior are interchangeable. They are not.

I am moving into Male’s old house this month. Male is a stereotypical boy who lived with off-white walls and ugly ass baby-shit colored curtains. He told me that he went into a store, asked for blackout curtains, and when they handed him a package that looked like hobo vomit, he bought them. He did not think to measure the giant bedroom window before he went so they are too narrow to reach the middle and too short to reach the floor. The window is 84″ long by 96″ wide. I know this because I measured it. The curtains are probably 72″ x 84″ although I didn’t bother to measure them. He lived with ill-fitting vagabond poo curtains for something like eight years. Boys…

In all fairness to Male, he is color blind, so he couldn’t actually see how ugly they were. I’ve already pulled the shit curtains down and I’m using them as drop cloths while I paint. It gives me great joy to stomp on them.

I went to the paint store to pick out paint colors. I love color, but dammit, if I didn’t have a hell of a time choosing some. I got white paint for most of it–not eggshell, not beige, not off-fucking-white, but plain old clean white. Given a choice, I prefer straight up white over some dirty variation thereof.

I have a comforter that I love that matches all of the little animal drawings I’ve done. I actually pulled the exact colors from a picture of my comforter (all except the brown–there is no brown in there, but you can’t very well have a pink bear). Originally, I drew the animals to decorate my bedroom walls, but I never got around to hanging them:

That is essentially my color palette. I went with owl blue for the bedroom accent walls. Both blues actually, since I was planning on doing one wall dark owl blue and another a lighter owl blue by adding white to it. And for the bathroom, I got the bear reddish-pink. Sweet. Colors chosen.

Shit! I need towels and rugs and junk for the bathroom! I have a black couch for the owl blue room that I was planning to reupholster. I’m very tired of black. But what colors go with owl blue and bear reddish-pink? I have no idea what color to put with either color. I hadn’t thought that far ahead.

If it were a catalog or a website, I’d have no problem, but picking a complimentary color for my bathroom, living room and bedroom are proving to be pretty difficult. For the last few days, I’ve been surfing interior design sites looking for the perfect combinations and having little luck with it.

Even though I am a graphic designer, it turns out that I am completely out of my depth when it comes to interior design. I guess I should leave the design to the professionals.