The Night Of The Amorous Parking Meters
By goldfish,
I had dinner the other night with my bestest friend in the world at some pretentious French fusion eatery that had the nerve to have “farm”…
Read articleThe Night That Changed My Life
By goldfish,
The worst injury I’ve ever had was having my skull cracked open and my brain damaged. It changed everything about me forever. I had to drop…
Read articleThe Missing Shoe
By goldfish,
What was a pretty little white girl doing in the middle of the ghetto? She was lithe and fragile, pale and pretty, and she had just…
Read articleThe Category of Parades
By goldfish,
I was at a dinner party the other night and I was feeling especially argumentative. I’m usually contrary and cantankerous, but for some reason, that night,…
Read articleMi Salvador
By goldfish,
I was sitting on my bed reading a book – The Diamond Age by Neal Stephenson, which isn’t as good as Snow Crash, but it’s still…
Read articleThe Rules
By goldfish,
This story is not the worst that I’ve been in trouble in my lifespan, but it was the first. It was then that I realized that…
Read articleFunny Strange
By goldfish,
I was at a store of many departments browsing for some shoes; not that I needed shoes since the ones on my feet were perfectly adequate,…
Read articleThe Left Hand Is Evil!
By goldfish,
When I was a wee lass, just entering formal education, after graduating from eating paste, my teacher thought there was something wrong with me. There was,…
Read articleThe Montebello Incident
By goldfish,
I’ve done some pretty stupid things in my life; some things I regret and some things that were just plain idiotic. I’m not proud of them,…
Read articlePublic Service Announcement
By goldfish,
I live in Los Angeles. Living in Los Angeles means that, inevitably, I know people who work in the entertainment industry, the poor saps. A friend…
Read articleThe World’s Dumbest Cat
By goldfish,
Since I boldly declared myself the owner of the world’s dumbest cat, I suppose that I owe some explanation as to why I think I’m worthy…
Read articleCarjack Defense System
By goldfish,
Part One: The Wrath of the Voll One night, for reasons unknown to me, I ended up at a family-style Italian restaurant chain called Buca Di…
Read articleShroooooms.
By goldfish,
As I’ve probably already detailed somewhere in this here blog, I have an affinity for teh drugs. I like them. Sometimes too much. Especially uppers of…
Read articleNow With More Friendly!
By goldfish,
My hair is partially pink right now due to Operation Pink Hair (see the blog Operation Pink Hair). It’s only partially pink because, regrettably, my arms…
Read articlePunching Walls
By goldfish,
There is a man at my place of employment who is angry all the time; red-alert woop! woop!, Yosemite Sam angry. He is so angry that…
Read articleOperation Pink Hair
By goldfish,
You have the right to a fair trial by a jury of your peers. It sounds like a good idea until you see it in practice.…
Read articleBlow Things Up Day
By goldfish,
Los Angeles: densely populated land of the desert in the middle of a persistent drought. Not really optimal conditions for lighting things afire and shooting them…
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