If I could un-invent something, it would be the bra. Is there any other invention on earth that is so ubiquitous, yet unnecessary?

Women in modern society have no choice but to spend money on bras because society demands it of us. It is considered improper to walk around without one.

Women spend approximately $16 billion a year to torture ourselves with bras. We spend billions on them and they are never comfortable enough. Even if you do find one that fits perfectly, in a few months it will be all stretched out and useless.

Bras are sexist. No matter how big a pair of man-boobs get, they’re not required to be strapped into a bra. Only women’s breasts have to be sequestered away from polite society, no matter their size. Why? Why is it that men can go shirtless and women can’t? Men have boobs and nipples, too.

No one really seems to know when the first bras came into being, but I blame the Greek. Women wore a ἀπόδεσμος, meaning “breast-band.” Throughout recorded history though, women have used a variety of garments and devices to cover, restrain, or elevate their breasts.

During the 1960’s, women protested for equal rights. Before I was even born, there were women fighting for my rights as a woman. Bra burning was a thing! Women would rip them off as a symbol of independence and to be natural instead of pushed up. At the 1968 Miss America Protest, there were “freedom trash cans” where women threw away bras, girdles, curlers, tweezers, high heels, etc. Look at how happy these women are!

After a while, women lost that bra-burning spirit. We went right back to wearing our medieval torture devices called brassieres. Actually, that’s not fair. Although there was a fair bit of other medieval torture going on, women in the medieval period didn’t wear bras.

Here’s a little secret for you, women’s breasts are not symmetrical. Sometimes, there is nearly a cup size difference on the same woman. I can guarantee you that if sports cups were a thing that all men in polite society had to wear, there would be more sizes than A, B, C, D, E, F, G. Those things would be custom-made to support each one separately. It’s not so with bras unless you want to spend a small fortune.

Bras don’t decrease sagging. Gravity will do what it will do regardless. Granted, large-breasted women and women doing sports probably prefer the support, but generally it’s not necessary. There are plenty of cultures, even today, where women don’t wear bras and you know what? They don’t suffer for it in any way. A bra is not a necessity, so wearing one is really just a personal choice.

If the bra was never invented, women walking around without one wouldn’t be a big deal. It would be like men walking around without a bra today–totally normal. It is society’s ideals that make things like bras, makeup and high heels feel necessary, not any sort of human imperative.

I suppose it could be worse. I could be forced to wear a burqa…

…or a corset…

…still, given the chance, I’d undo the bra.