Today’s Daily Post suggestion was to do a giveaway because “giveaways are hugely popular with readers” they say. I’m sure I already knew that because I always have my finger on the pulse of things that are “hugely popular” in the world.

I’ve never done a giveaway before because I hate all of you. That’s not true at all really. My loyal readers have as much love as my tiny, wizened heart can squeeze out. It ain’t much, but you’re welcome to it.

The Contest

I had so much fun with the Mad Lib the other day, let’s do another one. The funniest Mad Lib answer wins. I suppose I will decide myself who the winner is since you all cannot be trusted. I’ll give you one week from today, until Thursday the 20th, 00:00 (whatever time it is that WordPress is on [which happens to be 4PM PST for me]) to submit your answers and I’ll announce the winner on Friday, the 21st.

The Prize

I don’t really have much of value to give away. All I have is this ashtray, this chair, this paddle ball and this blog (<Jerk reference). So, how about this, I will give away a guest writer spot on my blog, or if you prefer, I will guest on your blog discussing anything you choose. Winner’s choice. I’ve never done either of those things before and I’m not even sure how it would work. This is three firsts in one post.

The Rules

I wrote a story that the words you pick will be plugged into. Just like in the real Mad Libs, you won’t get to see the story before you pick your words. You won’t get to peek until the winner is unveiled. To win bragging rights (maybe some sort of badge thing that says WINNER if I’m feeling really bored) and the supremely awesome, inestimably valuable gift of guest bloggerdom, please leave your answers for the following words in a comment:

NOUN

ADJECTIVE

PAST TENSE VERB

NOUN

NOUN

NOUN

ADJECTIVE

VERB

PAST TENSE VERB

PLURAL NOUN

NOUN

VERB

ADJECTIVE

NOUN

ADJECTIVE

PERSON’S NAME

ADJECTIVE

NOUN

NOUN

NOUN

EXCLAMATION

GERUND (verb ending in -ing)

NOUN

PAST TENSE VERB

NOUN

Good luck!

Be as creative as you want. I hope some of you chuckleheads actually answer since this will be a very boring contest otherwise. I wish I could enter myself.