1. People who downplay serious issues, because they are incapable of understanding them. For example, all this rape nonsense that was flying around during the last U.S. Election. Do not morally judge or attempt to influence a woman’s decision regarding a pregnancy resulting from rape. It’s none of your business.
2. Political lies. A lot of straight up lies were told during the last U.S. Election. Romney said he doesn’t care about 47% of the American population and yet, a lot of people still voted for him. I’m not saying Obama is innocent as the driven snow. Most politicians are liars and I don’t like any of it. I don’t tolerate people I know lying to me, so why would I tolerate it from a total stranger?
3. When you’re standing in line behind someone and they make a stale joke to the cashier and then look at you for a laugh, too. The cashier may well laugh at your folly because it’s their job, but I won’t. My job is back at the office, and every second you spend trying to get a laugh out of your not funny joke, you are in the way of me getting to it. A store is no place for stand up comedy.
4. Daylight Savings Time. What are we saving it for exactly? It doesn’t matter whether I lose or gain an hour, it messes me up for two entire weeks both ways. I have a hard enough time sleeping as it is without the world fucking with my circadian rhythm. For the last week and a half, every day I’ve walked out of work with my sunglasses in my hand only to remember that it’s dark. The other day, it took me one hour and eleven minutes to get home, which is double my normal commute, just because it was dark.
5. I hate that the major holidays in the U.S. are so close together. I only get 5 or 6 paid holidays a year. Memorial day in May, July 4th (if it falls during the week), Labor Day in August and then Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Day. The last three fall between the fourth Thursday of November and the first of January. I wish they were spread out a bit more. It’d be nice to have a day off every other month or so.
6. I hate when people send me text messages that are so long that they have to be broken into multiple text messages. “We’re having a celebration on Thursday night in celebration of whatever nonsense we’re celebrating this week yadda yadda. Bring” Bring? Bring what? Bring is not an entire sentence. And then two minutes later, “booze and get ready to celebrate our thing!” Seriously, people, if your message is so long that it has to be broken into two, just send an email.
7. I hate when you just had something and now you can’t find it. You have to retrace your steps to find out that you left that glass of water you just got on the shelf in the hall closet. Or worse, when you realize you left whatever it was someplace outside of your house. I left my bank card at a restaurant twice last month and only realized it after they had closed.
8. Store salespeople. You walk into a store looking for a whizbang for your whoozywhatsit and before you can even figure out where it might be, someone sidles over out of nowhere and asks “Can I help you find something?” And since you haven’t had time to orient yourself and they are there, you ask them where the whizbangs are and they don’t know. Or they have to go ask someone and leave you standing there like an idiot wondering if they forgot about you and just went on break when you could have found it on your own in the time all that has taken. Conversely, whenever you really are looking for someone to “help you find something,” they are nowhere to be found.
9. When things are split inequitably. You’re spending the day with a friend. You go shopping or something and you get hungry. You pass a hot dog cart and your friend says she’ll buy you a hot dog because they smell delicious. You try to give your friend some money for the hot dog and she says, “I’ll get lunch if you get dinner.” You agree. You eat your hot dogs and continue shopping or whatever it is friends do. Later on, you decide to go to dinner at a fancy French restaurant. You eat your meal and when it comes to the bill, your friend seems to think the deal you made is still in place, as if a hot dog from a street cart is equivalent to a fancy French dinner.
10. Showering. There are times when a shower is awesome, e.g if you’re really dirty or freezing or really hot. Most of the time though, I’m not any of those things and yet I still shower. It seems like such a waste. All that water that could be used for drinking just so that I can have clean hair. I hate having wet hair. I hate struggling to get my jeans on because my legs are clammy. Showering just seems like a big old waste. It’s the 21st century. Can’t we come up with a better, faster and less wasteful way to clean ourselves? I demand a space age shower.