I suppose it’s time I admit that I’m not going to make it. I’m not even going to make it halfway. So far, I’ve written 13,743 words on my novella. While that’s nothing to be ashamed of, but it’s a far cry from the 50,000 words required to complete the NaNoWriMo challenge or even my own challenge of finishing this book with an estimated 30,000 words by the end of the month. I think I always knew deep down that I wouldn’t make it, but still, it’s hard to give up hope.
Not to make excuses, but this has been a horrible month for me time wise. The first week, I had a deadline at work that sucked up all my time and energy. Last week, I had an unexpected house guest who came to attend an unexpected funeral. This week, I had an unforeseen project handed to me at work that has to be finished by next week. Aside from the duties of my employment, I’ve been running all over hell and gone with fool’s errands that I won’t bother detailing here, but suffice it to say, I haven’t had a lot of time.
I know, I know. You have to make the time, but when you’re working a full-time job with two deadlines in one month, you have to handle the normal and the unexpected details of living, and you come home to find a house guest, well, it doesn’t leave much room for writing. All things considered, I’m rather proud that I’ve gotten as far as I have. Last weekend, I set a goal for myself of writing 15,000 words by Sunday and 20,000 words by today. That would have put me well on schedule to make my 30,000 word, self-imposed goal by the end of the month. Instead, I haven’t written a thing since Day 19 and I haven’t even broken 15,000 yet.
Not only that, but I’ve been totally neglecting this blog. I haven’t written even a single post in six days. Six days! I haven’t let my blog lay fallow for so long since the first year I started it. The good news is, I have lots of ideas floating around my head. The bad news is, I haven’t had the time to write any of them down. I’ve let the book thing get in the way of daily life so now, it’s a stormy little raincloud hanging over my head. It is an albatross around my neck, a stone of shame. I’m trying not to see it as such, but failure is never easy. I can’t wait until this month is over.
I even added the little NaNo widget thingy to my sidebar over there hoping that it would motivate me more if the whole world could see my progress (read: failure), but so far, all it’s done is remind my of how miserable this month has really been. Anyway, I just thought I’d pop in to say hello to my failful readers. (I actually meant to type “faithful,” but it came out “failful” instead.) I haven’t forgotten about you. What’s going on in your world? Have I missed anything? You’re looking smashing today. I really like your pajamas. Are those new? Cheerio and toodle pip for now.